Toto Poll

Just added - Toto Poll (see right).

Don't forget to vote!

Toto

Allow me to introduce Toto (to be more precise, Totô), the newest member of the household. Having been abandoned by our erstwhile neighbours when they moved to another part of Manaus, Toto sat patiently on a heap of sand outside their house for days on end. Taking pity, Naice decided to give him some food…and the rest is history. I am still fighting a rearguard action and won’t allow him inside our gate, but as you can see he now has his own house (painted and weatherproofed by yours truly), gets fed twice a day and likes to take his walk with Ozzie every morning and evening.

So what do you say - should I admit defeat and let him in, or should he stay outside in his own house? I think I'll add a poll to the blog (if I can figure out how to do it), and count the votes after a couple of weeks...

Feliz Natal

First of all, Naice and I would like to wish a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to one and all. Thanks for visiting the blog and I hope you’ll keep reading in 2009.

Now, as promised, here’s the picture of a fine example of the world’s largest beetle, titanus giganteus, photographed in our garden in December. The beetle measured just over 8 inches including its feelers, and reputedly it can break a pencil in half with its jaws (why it would want to do this is beyond me, but there we are). It even flies. We were suitably impressed.

There are also a few other photos here snapped at odd occasions over the last couple of months: an unidentified creepy crawly (answers on a postcard please…); a nice lizard snapped with the camera an hour or so before it was really snapped by Kelly; a young sloth that deigned to visit last week and hang around above our chapeu de palha for a few days; and a little tree frog who appeared next to the house.

Bye bye November

And so another December rolls along. My 49th, in fact, as in January I will turn 50 - a most unfortunate condition, and not one I ever thought would come to pass. Still, as someone once said, the alternative is worse.

November has been a very busy month, and when we totted up the pennies we were about R$1500 better off than at the end of October. Unfortunately the death of the swimming pool pump, the washing machine and our fixed internet connection cost us R$1449.50. So our profit for the period, which no doubt the sharper among you have already calculated, was R$50.50. An achievement, nonetheless, I think.

After the extreme frustration of our ludicrous internet and telephone connections during October, we now have one of these mobile-phone internet connections. Still crap, but at least it seems reliably crap (so far). So I can get back to my cyber work and my constantly interrupted correspondence (and of course, the blog).

On the subject of the blog, words of encouragement from an excellent blogger were warmly and gratefully received (see recent comments, if you can – I can’t - and the blogroll). So I’m back scribbling again. And I have some photos (well, they’re not actually to hand, but I’ll post them up tomorrow). One is of an insect the gardener found the other day and – for once – didn’t kill. On the other hand, I’m not sure who would have come off best in a fight, since insect and gardener were roughly the same size. Okay, some hyberbole there, but really this thing was humungous - so large, in fact, that after photographing it, I rushed off (on?) to the internet and just typed in “largest beetle”. Back came a long list of references to what is, without doubt, a rather magnificent example of Titanus Giganteus. I measured it at just over 8 inches from feeler to arse. Amazing. And to think it can fly, too. I Mean, it's almost the size of a microlight. You really don’t want one of these things hitting your windscreen at 40 miles an hour - or even hitting your head at 1 mph, come to that…

Naice is nearing the end of her first term at University now, and hopefully will stop tearing her hair out soon. I think term finishes on 12th of December, so then we can relax (well, concentrate on the guests) for a couple of months. Since no one is coming to visit us over Christmas/New Year (other than paying guests), we’ll have to make our own fun, so we’re still thinking about where we might go for a few days. A nice Dutch guy who lives up the road and has just been made Finance Director for one of the big jungle lodges has invited us to stay at the lodge sometime, so at the moment this looks like the favourite. Otherwise we’ll probably head up to Barcelos at some stage.

Speaking of the Dutch, I have to say they are amongst the nicest guests we receive here. Our very first guest was Ducthman Leen Deurloo in February 2008, who stayed with us for quite a while in between travelling up and down the Negro and the Amazon, and we still miss him! Since then we’ve had a fairly steady stream from “The Underlands”, as Holland is called in Portuguese. And today I took a nice Dutch couple out for a trip to the meeting of the waters, and we had a great time. Everything went perfectly, and as if on cue, while we were bobbing about on the dividing line between the rivers, a pink dolphin surfaced not 2m from the boat. You don’t get that sort of service with any old boat operator you know.

Next week, we’re going to chase up the adoption papers, which should be ready by now, and I need to organise my next GPS Course intake for next Friday/Saturday. We also have a couple coming from the UK (hooray!) on Wednesday, and Naice has her end of term exams. I’m also putting the finishing touches to my Christmas Pub Quiz, which is now set for 13th December at Chopp Fun in downtown Manaus. It could be a total disaster, but it has to be worth a try. And I’ve an old friend coming down from Boa Vista to give me a hand with this. I’ll let you know how it goes.

So generally life is fine for us, as we hope it is with all of you (sorry – getting sentimental in my old age). Au revoir.

'Piqued', of Manaus, writes...

I’m not one to complain, but….

The electricity went off again (as usual) in the last storm, but this time it came back on at an under-voltage. This is not something with which I have hitherto had to concern myself, but it transpires that this is just the sort of thing you don’t want when you’re running a pump. 'What happens?' I hear you ask. 'Give us a technical, blow-by-blow account – cause and effect and all that', I hear you a-clammering. And I can now tell you. What happens is that bloody thing catches fire – that’s what happens. Naice and I, having taken our customary naked rain shower (don’t knock it ‘til you’ve done it) were standing by the front door congratulating ourselves on having remembered to unplug the telephone, the TV, the Sky box, the air-conditioners and the fridge, when Naice pointed out the rather large cloud of black smoke billowing from behind the swimming pool filter. Although I ran as fast as I could to switch it off (and let me tell you there’s at least one very good reason someone invented underwear), I wasn’t in time to stop the whole thing going into melt down. Thank you Manaus Energia, you useless, incompetent pillocks.

Five days later (long story, won’t bore you), we now have a new pump and an ECB, protecting us from over-voltage, under-voltage, heat, lightning strike, frogs in the pool, dirty guests and frostbite. Or something like that.

So - what happened today, when the inevitable storm came and the power went off? I switched the whole electrical system off manually. Talk about having a dog and barking yourself…

Fishing III

We took the opportunity to escape across the river for a night on Saturday. There wasn’t much happening in the way of fish, but it was very pleasant nonetheless. We took Ozzie with us, and left Kelly with the run of the garden. On the other side of the river we met up with friend Charlie (in battlecruiser Sammy III), and Paulo, Robson and Joao (in the more traditional IV Neto).

The fish steadfastly refused to appear, but the food and drink flowed and a good time was had by all. The only problem with taking Ozzie is that he does need to piddle, so it’s off to find a suitable place twice a day (at least). Fortunately, since it’s low water now (regular readers will know that the end of October is low water), there are vast stretches of beach everywhere, so he was very happy.

Red Tailed Boa

We have a new visitor to the garden, who has surprised Naice and the dogs twice now. Last time, Naice managed to get it to pose for the camera. It’s really nice to see it as I believe it’s not that common. It’s also non-poisonous, which is always a bonus. They can grow to up to 4 metres in length, although ours is, thankfully, somewhat smaller. I haven't actually seen the thing myself yet, but no doubt will do in due course.

Good looking, isn't (s)he?

Amazon Pub Quiz

I’ve decided to try to organise a pub quiz here for all the ex-pats (and anyone interested in practising their English). I have a number of candidate bars, and all I need is to drum up enough support to get the thing off the ground. I also hope to persuade a nice kind band to play on the night for free-or-very-little. I also need to come up with some pub quiz questions and a sort of plan as to how it’s going to be done etc. Since my knowledge of pub quizzes is limited to those attended at the SEELB, I will have to draw on this to come up with a model. If anyone has any (sensible) suggestions, or knows of any online resource(s), please let me know!

Boa Vista

Boa Vista is Brasil’s northern-most capital (and almost its northernmost town - of any size). It lies around 900km north of Manaus, in the state of Roraima. Part of Mount Roraima (up which I have been – thanks Mr Churchill) lies within the state, and it borders the southernmost state of Mr Chavez’ personal oil field, Venezuela.

I have two friends up there – Emerson, a lawyer, and Martin, who’s just, well, Martin. And I decided to visit them. It’s expensive to get there by plane, so the only other course of action is car/bike (not recommended because of the state of the roads), or omnibus. At R$90 one-way, this seemed like a good idea, and off I went. The original scheduled time is 12 hours bus station to bus station, and after 12 hours you’re generally ready to get off just wherever you happen to be at the time. In our case, unfortunately, it ended up taking 14 hours 20 mins. Joy. And on the way back we didn’t fare (pardon pun) too well either, making it in a pretty poor 14 hours. Having stayed up there for just less than 24 hours, I conclude that the 28 hours 20mins on the bus isn’t really worth it (sorry lads). Of course it ought to be quite interesting, since the bus passes through the Waimiri-Atroari indigenous reserve (no stopping, no photographing, thank you very much) – but since we passed through it in the dark on the way up, and I was asleep on the way back, I’m sorry to say that all I can tell you about it is that the road is awful and the indigenous folk don’t have street lights.

Never mind – herewith a photo from the garden, of the lesser spotted banana thief, and one of Naice enjoying a caipirinha at our local. None of you would of course be so tasteless as to ask which one is which...

We have been psychedelically tested

We have now been subjected to a rigorous psychedelic examination, but in spite of this, we are apparently fit to adopt. All we need to wait for now is the piece of paper that confirms this, and then we will be on The List. Scary stuff or what..?

I mentioned before that Manaus was just about to re-elect the most (allegedly) corrupt, (allegedly) inept, (allegedly) ignorant (alleged) moron as Mayor, even after having experienced his reign of (alleged) abject uselessness in the past. And so it has come to pass. I have asked a good cross-section of the population (from the gardener to the doctor to the Director of BIC) and EVERYONE INSISTS that they didn’t and wouldn’t EVER vote for this guy. “So why,” I asked, “has he been elected again?” “Ah well,” they nod, “it’s the indigent and ignorant, you see. They love him.” So there we are – it seems that over 50% of the population here are indigent, ignorant, or both.

Although we now have our new camera, unfortunately there hasn’t been much opportunity to use it. True, we went fishing up the Negro last week, but it turned out to be dull for two days, and trees and shrubbery and the like don’t look like much without a bit of sun. Neither does brown or black water, for that matter. True, I did see - for the first time in my life - two Ariranha (Giant Amazon River Otters), but I was fishing on a river bank without the camera at the time. I can tell you, however, that the adjective “giant” is perfect. And true, I did go to Boa Vista to see some friends (see separate entry), but Naice needed the camera for her course, so that was that. We were also scheduled to go to Barcelos (but we haven’t had enough time), and down the BR319 (cancelled by one of the group). So we’ve been confined to taking the odd pic here and there around the house, and that’s what you see here.

News at last

Hello all, and thanks for the concerned enquiries. However, I’m pleased to report that rumours of my demise have been exaggerated, and we’re still struggling along here. The problem is a combination of ridiculous internet connection problems (as discussed previously) and a large number of guesthouse enquiries. The result is that most of the internet time I get has to be devoted to the enquiries, and the rest of the time is spent either looking after guests or tidying up after them! Sorry Betty, will try to do better.

Anyway, what’s been happening? The adoption police came and went and we now have our appointment with the shrink on 20th October. In the meantime, someone phoned us to offer us triplets. Yes - triplets! Aside from being borderline illegal, I really don’t think we could handle triplets – well, not unless we closed the guesthouse and stopped all our other activities, leaving us no income at all. If on the other hand, anyone would like to sponsor a family, just say the word…

We have a new camera, brought to us by a friend visiting the USA. If you’re interested, it’s a Panasonic Lumix TZ5 with a 10x optical zoom, a 28mm lens and 9.1 megapixels. Unfortunately, until we acquire an SD card for it, we won’t be taking many photos - but I’ll probably have some for the next blog entry. Here’s one of Kelly in the meantime.

Naice has been busy with her Tourism degree (someone here asked her if she would be a qualified tourist on completion of the course), and has been running all over the place evaluating local tourist attractions (conclusion so far – they’re fine except for the fact that they don’t understand the need to provide information or assistance to the tourists J). On the strength of her first presentation, she has been invited to do another one at a university showcase event next week – very impressive.

We have a couple of weeks without guests now, hopefully enabling me to catch up with my personal correspondence (sorry folks), giving us the opportunity to evaluate some other business possibilities, and maybe even allowing us the chance to get out and about a bit. Speaking of which, I’m going down the BR319 with Naice’s brothers on Thursday, to have a look at some land there. The BR319 is the theoretical road running between Manaus and Porto Velho (to be more precise, Humaita). On the map, it’s approximately 700km long; on the ground, it becomes pretty much impassable after 200km. This fact is particularly interesting, given that the land we’re going to look at is 250km away. I’m also going fishing with friend Charlie on Friday, for the first time in an age, and I’m looking forward to it. We hope to both go to Barcelos next week if we can, particularly as there is a chance I can do an article on it for a Dutch magazine (long story – later, later…). Further ahead, we have friends Dawn and Garry (maybe) coming to see us for Christmas, and then…well, 2009 is too far away to think about just yet. Besides, before we get to Christmas, we have a very busy November to cope with, with 14 guesthouse bookings so far (yikes). Interestingly, although December is looking fairly quiet, we have a confirmed booking for….December 25th. Well, why not? In fact, perhaps the Library Board would like to have the Christmas party here – should I get the beer in now…?

As always, will try to post more frequently in future.

The adoption police are coming

We are to receive the adoption police on Monday at 10:30. One assumes they will want to interrogate us with respect to our income, our bank balance, and our jobs, as well as to see how well prepared we might be to look after additional small persons. It is always tempting to question the justice of this when there are so many unwanted babies born here to single mothers with no visible means of support (does anyone remember that ad.?), but I have to admit it is for the most part very sensible stuff, so we will grin and bear it. At least (one hopes), they will not be asking questions like “what was your first sexual experience?”, which is one of the questions the British system poses to prospective adopters, along with a system of investigation which sometimes seems as logical, sensitive, unbiased - and expensive - as the Inquisition.

Are camera's broke

I’ll have to do something about the lack of photos on the blog at the moment, but you’ll have to be patient – I’m afraid our camera has succumbed to the heat and refuses to work. I’m not quite sure where we’re going to find the funds to replace it, cameras being a bit pricey here, but I think we’ll need to find it – there’s a whole rainforest out there to photograph. In fact (typically) since the damned thing broke we’ve had all sorts of opportunities to photograph stuff. Two nights ago, for example, the largest Praying Mantis I have ever seen fell in the swimming pool – it was so large, it emptied all the water out (okay, I’m allowed some hyperbole) – and although it subsequently popped its clogs, and although I carefully preserved it for two days before the ants carried most of it off, I have been unable to get you the pics you deserve. And even as I write, we have a baby bird outside which has fallen from its nest and which we are trying to take some care of which I would love to photograph, but alas it’s not to be. We have also planted more trees in the garden and built a new patio, been to various new places with our guests, and been up and down the Taruma in the Shamrock - all of which I would like to have photographed – but we are pictureless. Sorry. Normal service will resume as soon as possible.

The 2014 World Cup

All politicking has been forgotten, as a united Manaus becomes a hive of planning and activity in the run up to the most significant event in its history for a century as it prepares for the vast influx of visitors coming here for the world cup….ha ha…ha ha ha…no sorry, I can’t continue this piece without laughing too much. Ha ha ha...

Guesthouse Visitors

The guesthouse has been busy this last 8 weeks, with visitors from all over the place (France, Slovakia, Austria, New Zealand, the USA, Spain and even Brazil). And now we have the Irish arriving on 13th September: the first native-English-speaker we’ve had (I mean native-British(or Irish)-English-speaker). Apart from this, we’ve had no-one from the British Isles at all. Not even the merest whiff of a booking enquiry (and our guests on 13th are only here because they work for the Irish embassy in Brasilia...) What conclusions we are to draw from this I don’t know, but I’m beginning to suspect that – contrary to my expectations - the British and Irish would rather spend their hard-earned leisure time in Europe than anywhere further afield. Well, we’ll no doubt see how true this is over the coming months.

Weathering the weather

It is now bakingly, unmercifully hot here. The first three weeks in September are the hottest, driest weeks of the year, and although this gives us an opportunity to patch up the leaks in the house, it’s so hot you (I) can hardly work for more than 30 minutes outside without melting. But I’ve managed to slap what they call cold asphalt all over the exposed brickwork on the roof, and I’m hoping I’ll be able to make some repairs to the concrete guttering on Monday or Tuesday. It may be a big gutter, but the sheer volume of water that cascades into it from the huge expanse of tin roof (maybe 20m x 12m?) means it just isn’t big enough. Not only that, but the twit who designed it forgot to build in a proper slope, so that some of the water that collects either overflows straight into the roof void or slowly seeps into the surrounding brickwork. Never mind – into everyone’s life a little rain must fall – although I do wish it wasn’t through the ceiling.

Comments? What comments?

Can anyone actually see the Recent Comments..?

Deeper and Down.

Look, can’t you people out there do something about the appalling collapse of the Pound? What little Naice and I have left over in the UK is becoming (relatively) littler by the day – possibly by the hour. From the 4 Reais to the pound we nearly got when we left, today it’s just 2.99! Come on – where’s your backbone? Work harder! Spend more! Do something!

And a not-so-global welcome

I have been roundly castigated for not including Bottesford in my geographical greetings. Well let me remedy this forthwith: welcome Bottesford readers one and all!

If anyone wants to know where Bottesford is, I suggest they get out a large-scale map of the north of England and a suitably strong magnifying glass...

(I would have put in an http link for Bottesford (if indeed one exists), but then I thought "why?")

"And the times...." II

Stop the press - times are not changing at all. Politically, they are standing still - possibly going backwards. Why? Well, it's mayoral election time in Manaus, and the glorious Manaus electorate is about to elect the most (allegedly) corrupt, ignorant, stupid candidate - and they have some experience on which to base their opinions, because he's already been Mayor once before - by a landslide! Calloo Callay!

"And the times...."

Times have changed. Here in the middle of the Amazon, and with a few notable exceptions, you can now just about get anything you can in Europe or the States. But then of course it’s the notable exceptions that get to you: no unsweetened peanut butter, for example; no biodegradeable poop-bags (for the dogs, you understand); and no Pool Devil Automatic Swimming Pool Skimmer. I can get (but I don’t need), a laser measuring-tape-spirit-level-and-nail-detector. I can get an AB-Stretch-rowing-cycling-pushme-pullyou-machine. And I can get an extendable multi-function-all-purpose step-ladder. But I can’t get a simple, straightforward Pool Devil Automatic Swimming Pool Skimmer. No, sir.

Deeply Held Beliefs

Here in Brasil the population is predominantly Catholic. It’s the kind of good, healthy non-state state religion that I like, in that for the most part no-one takes a blind bit of notice of it. And normally, neither do I. However, two things I found odd recently which I feel inclined to pass on. Firstly, the Catholic population is apt to call Protestants – of the evangelising persuasion (you’re right, I’m not quite sure what that means – but then frankly I couldn’t care a fig) – ‘Crentes’. This word comes from the verb Crer, ‘to believe’, which begs the obvious question, does it not..? Secondly, Naice was informed quite matter-of-factly the other day by one of the Protestant (evangelist) community that they don’t attend any of the Catholic festivals (this is the only part of Catholicism that most Brasilians take seriously – the parties) because they would be poisoned. The comment was made when Naice was organising the local ‘Festa Junina’ for our neighbourhood. Festa Junina is a Catholic celebration of some description or other (please don’t enlighten me, anyone) to which the whole local community is invited, and it takes the form of a very pleasant street party, with games for the kids, food and dancing and drinking and a bonfire. Unfortunately she was unable to persuade a considerable number of the ‘Crentes’ that they would be safe to attend, which left her mystified until the above comment explained all. So that’s fine, then.

It’s comforting to know that religious bigotry is alive and kicking in even the remotest corners of the world, isn’t it? What would we do without religion?

A global welcome

I have been remiss in welcoming new visitors from around the globe, so to those of you who have reached us from or via (not in any order):

India, Norway, Finland, Saudi Arabia, Israel, Botswana, The Lebanon, Bangladesh, Thailand, The Philippines, Taiwan, Puerto Rico, Mexico, Barbados, Portugal, Italy, Switzerland, Holland, Germany, or Bolivia...

...thanks for stopping by!

I've added a link to the guesthouse website now, under "Some Links", for those who were asking recently. And if anyone has any other site(s) or blog(s) they think should be added, please let me know.

Novo Airao

The trip to Novo Airao went well, in spite of some weird weather on the way up, with wind and current both from the northwest, and which whipped the river into rather an agitated state (sorry Hilary – no pictures of this). It was nothing too wild, but very tiring, as there’s a 20km stretch of open water which you can’t really avoid crossing, and you have to just buffet your way through. It also took me a bit by surprise, as I’d insisted that we leave just before dawn (pic) to avoid ‘the weather’. Anyway, once across the open stretch, in the lee of the first of the Anavilhanas’ estimated 400 islands, the whole thing quietened down considerably, and the rest of it was plain, um, sailing, as it were. But it did mean it took us around 4 hours to get to our destination. We stopped at the relatively new Anavilhanas Lodge to have a quick look around: it seems fine, and the people were friendly, so we’ll probably be recommending this as an option to guests seeking a jungle lodge. After this, we headed around the corner to the one-boat village of Novo Airao itself. And of course the primary aim of this was to see what all the fuss was about with these dolphins.

The port of Novo Airao is very small, with hardly room to squeeze the Shamrock in between a few other local boats, and when you get off your boat you’re greeted with a dusty street, a few ramshackle bars and a kind of terminal for people to get on and off the regional boats plying their trade between Manaus and Barcelos or Sao Gabriel da Cachoeira. Across the little harbour is a white flutuante where they’ll sell you a (very small) fish for (very much – R$15!) money, to feed the dolphins; and at the back of the flutuante, you can just hop in the water with your fish and hand it out to your new-found friends. Naturally, I had to have a go – so it was off with at least some of the togs and straight into the water. I didn’t have any fish at this point, and the dolphins wouldn’t let me forget it – they nudged, flippered and generally cajoled me until Naice arrived with the (somewhat frozen) fish.

It was amazing being in the water with these wee beasties. I thought they would be gentle, shy, intelligent Flipper-like beings who would uncannily understand me as if telepathically and so on (a bit like my colleagues at SEELB, maybe…). Not so – they behaved like spoilt dogs and spent their time bullying everyone into handing out the fish; and as soon as all the fish was gone, well, so were they. But it was still a fantastic experience, and thoroughly recommended. You can see me being flippered in one of the photos, which should amuse some of you.

On the way back, we strayed into the Anavilhanas reserve itself, and pottered along one of its totally deserted canals, with the river like a mirror and the undisturbed, primary rainforest towering along its banks. Apart from an occasional flock of red Macaws, screeching on their way overhead, when we stopped the engine it was so quiet all you could hear was a faint ringing in your ears (or maybe that was tinnitus). Wonderful. One of the photos shows how difficult it can be sometimes to figure out quite where the river ends and the sky begins.

The NW breeze had dropped almost completely and we worked out that the speed of the current (now in our favour) was about 2.5 - 3kph, so we were fairly skimming along at around 45kph on the way back, and made the whole journey in 2 hours 45 minutes, even with our stop in the Anavilhanas. Average speed on the way up, 28kph; on the way back, 41kph – a record I doubt I shall ever beat in the Shamrock.

p.s. Some myths debunked, following the trip: 1) the deepest water in the Negro is 150ft – nonsense - we measured 285ft at one point; and 2) the widest clear stretch (i.e. no islands in the way) of the Negro is 9.8km – rubbish, we realised this on the way up, and if you measure in Google Earth, you can see that the widest stretch is approximately11.98km.

Bug of the Month (2006)

Kirstie, the beetle you were asking about that I photographed in Rio Preta da Eva (June 26th) is a Harlequin Long-Horned Beetle (Acrocinus longimanus, as you'll probably know). If you follow bugs, as it were, you'll probably also know that it was selected as "Bug of the Month" by godofinsects.com in June 2006. I quote:

"A fantastic Neotropical longhorn beetle, conspicuous for it's large size, beautiful colors and the amazing length of the front legs on the male. These elongated limbs (much reduced in the female) are a secondary sex characteristic, used in mating. It should also be noted that it aids them in traversing the tree trunks on which they can be found. Females seek out old trees, such as Ficus, that are infested with bracket fungi. An incision is made in the bark and an egg deposited. Larvae bore into the timber for 7-8 months and then pupate for the remainder of the year, to emerge and start the cycle anew."

So there you are.

Novo Airao

The first boat trip up the Rio Negro is planned for this Friday, setting off at 05:30 on the 110km run up the left bank. We’re doing this a) because I want to do it, b) because we’d like to visit a jungle lodge there, and c) because apparently there’s a floating restaurant up there where they’ve managed to train some of the river dolphin to eat from your hand and where you can swim with them. Of course this isn’t organised along your typical European standards – it’s a case of you buy some fish, jump in the river and hope for the best. If you drown/get eaten alive etc., well that’s your problem. I like it.

So anyway, we’ll set off at the crack of dawn and cross the widest single stretch of the Negro (9.8km) right at the mouth of our little River Taruma. Then we’ll tootle up the left bank, skimming over the deepest part of the Negro at something like 150ft, until we get to the narrowest part of the Negro, which is always a bit bumpy (naturally). Here we make a dash for the start of the Anavilhanas Archipelago – the largest freshwater archipelago in the world, and a nature reserve – and pass along its left-hand-most islands. At this stage we’ll also be keeping an eye out along the way for any interesting jungle camping terrain (as requested by some of our more adventurous future guests, Dawn). After passing three small tributaries and various settlements, we should finally reach Novo Airao around 09:30 or thereabouts. Following a visit to the jungle lodge, lunch and a swim with the dolphins, we’ll head back, maybe taking a little time out to admire some of the Anavilhanas, and with luck we’ll be back around sunset.

Pics to follow, and if we have any, um, difficult or “interesting” moments, I must get them on camera for Hilary, who complained that all she ever sees are the nice, picturesque parts of the journey. So don’t blame me if the next caption is something like “this is us being eaten by piranha. Naice is in the foreground and to the left you can just see part of my lower leg.”

"We're busy doing nothing, working the whole day through..."

All is tranquil at the Guesthouse. We have no guests until 16th August, so we have a kind of summer holiday on our hands. As usual on one’s summer holiday (unless one can afford to go somewhere), what else is there to do but paint and decorate? We are planning a boat trip to the town of Novo Airao on Friday, and we have a barbecue for some of Naice’s friends on Sunday, but other than that it’s the maintenance season. I have already started wiring a light in the downstairs loo, and have finally managed to get the swimming pool looking good again after a looong battle with it; and next week the roller is coming out and I’ll be starting with the floor paint outside. Joy. On top of this, our gardener is on holiday until the end of August, so I’m cutting the grass myself, and we also have a few other tasks to get organised, like getting some rendering done round the back of the house and fixing the guttering where the rain’s coming in in the wet season. Okay, so maybe it’s not that tranquil at the guesthouse, after all...

For a bonus point, from which film are the lyrics in the title taken?

Rei dos Rios

The Brazilian magazine Veja has published an article about research conducted by the Brazilian national space institute, INPE, showing that the Amazon is the longest river in the world. So for those of you who thought it was the Nile, please amend your text books. Apparently the Nile is (only – hah!) 6,852 km long, whereas the Amazon is 6,992km. No doubt most Brazilians are very proud of this fact, even if many of them have only the sketchiest idea where the Amazon is (but to be fair, it’s probably a bit like asking your average Eastender where the Humber Estuary is…). National pride can be a good thing, and I think in Brazil it’s pretty healthy. I would go so far as to say that it should be encouraged (here), and I have often felt aggrieved on the Brazilians' behalf that whilst the Wright brothers are synonymous with the first manned flight, in fact (according to Brazil) it was Santos Dumont. There are probably other examples, too. So you tell ‘em, Brazil.

A Whole Year of River Level Statistics!

Yes! It's true! I have now amassed 365 (366?) days worth of river level data, and to prove it, here's the graph. The level peaked at 28.62 metres on 19th June (2007: 28.18m) and has now started receding, not unlike my hair. We have already lost a whole millimetre.

We now have two good months to get out on the river and mess about in our boats. By September, we'll have lost around 4 metres, and then in September we'll lose another 4 or more, making the igapo unnavegable, but revealing the Rio Negro's lovely beaches.

There, now wasn't that worth waiting for..?

Adoption

A lot of people have asked us about how we’re doing with this. Well, it’s taken us a year to get to the point where we have some sort of verifiable income, so now we feel we can proceed. We are at the stage of putting the paperwork together, and then we will be approaching the children and young persons agency here to register our interest. This will hopefully happen before the end of July. After that we need to go through the hoops of interviews, assessments etc., and when we emerge at the other end we will hopefully then be eligible to adopt and be placed on the register. The whole process is a bit long-winded but there are other things going on at the same time which may shorten the process somewhat. I’ll provide a further update when some progress has been made. Thanks to all for asking.

Wildlife update

We found this earthworm trying to get into the house the other day. There’s a pound coin there for perspective, and I guess the thing was about a metre in length. That’s some worm. He was rescued after his photo shoot and deposited gently at the bottom of the garden.

The other shot is of an impressive chap we found lurking on a wall when we visited the town of Rio Preta da Eva (80km East of Manaus). Nothing available for perspective, but I would estimate his body length at about 4 inches head to tail.

Kelly, our Heinz 57, had a bit of a fight the other night when she unearthed a Common Opossum near the chapeu de palha. Poor thing (I mean the Opossum) was pretty beaten up by the time we got there, but lived to tell the tale after we pulled Kelly - who is not much bigger - off it. Kelly will eat anything (hence having to rescue the worm, too), although she’s not stupid enough (yet) to have a go at snakes. She found one of those in the chapeu a few weeks ago, but apart from barking and growling at it until I got there, she didn’t attack it. Fortunately for all 3 of us, the snake did a runner as I approached.

Finally, our gardener, Claudionor, was bitten by a black scorpion last week while tidying the garden. Fortunately it was a relatively small one and he got away with losing the feeling in his right side for a few hours. Next time he has promised to wear his boots while working, rather than go barefoot. Good idea, methinks.

Trip to Casa da SIlva

Here are a few pics of our recent visit to Naice's parents house on the other side of the river. This was the first time we had tyaken our own boat, and although the total distance was 71km, it took us 3.5 hours to get there after a short-cut we took turned out to be blocked by floating grass (capim), and we had to paddle the boat through the igapo (flooded forest): it's all very well in a dug-out canoe with a wee motor you can haul inboard, but with a 6m aluminium boat with a 50hp 4-stroke stuck on the end of it it's a not-to-be-repeated ordeal involving cuts, bruises, extremely painful red ant bites (they don't call them fire ants for nothing) and profuse and profound cursing and sweating. On the way back...we got stuck again, this time in the middle of another floating grass blockage we couldn't avoid, but fortunately a young guy came past in a dugout and pulled us free. We avoided the same route we'd used on the outward leg and further problems were avoided. It still took us 3.5 hours, although knowing the way (and without getting stuck) I reckon we could do it in 2.5.

Anyway, once on the Rio Solimoes, and all the way through to the Rio Negro, the water was as calm as you like, and during the 10km crossing of the Solimoes, it was like being on a lake. Marvellous.

The next planned trip will be to the small town of Novo Airao, on the west bank of the Rio Negro, about 110km upstream of Manaus. There to find lunch and swim with the dolphins. I'm hoping we can do this before the end of July.

The pictures show a few of the igarapes we passed through, a couple with Naice. The others show journey's end (Casa da Silva), and Naice's parents and brother Romulo inspecting the boat.

Voltamos!

We are back on the air again, after a considerable amount of time waiting for the local telecomms company to sort out our phone line. It’s still not back to normal, but it will have to do. I know, I know – “But what about the river levels?” I hear you ask. Okay, well we’re approaching the peak water level now, which will occur on June 22nd. Although it’s higher than last year, it is not going to get anywhere near record-breaking levels. At present it’s sitting at around 28.6 metres (the Port Authority website is down at the moment – perhaps they’re having the same problem we had), and will probably rise to about 28.7 or thereabouts. Anyway, it’s high enough to make the those parts of the Amazon not normally reachable, reachable. We have about two months to make good use of this, so we have trips planned to Careiro do Castanho, Naice’s parents’ house via Anveres, and to Novo Airao. I’ll let you know how we get on.

I notice there seem to have been a number of visitors coming to us from China while we've been off the air, so hello to you and thanks for coming. I would write "hello" in Chinese, but don’t know where to begin – perhaps someone can help?

A lot has happened since my last post, so this will be a (relatively) long one. I would break it into smaller individual posts, but then someone will complain that they missed some of them. So you’ll just have to wade your way through it.

First of all, we’ve now been here a year, incredible though it may seem. We’ve had our ups and downs, but all in all we’re in pretty good shape. Financially, this month will be the first month we will break even on our costs, so we’re happy about that. Emotionally, I suppose I’m still struggling to adapt, but I’m definitely getting there. And anyway, when I’m having my doubts I only have to look out over the forest to feel good about the whole thing again. The house is in good shape, the dogs are fine, we’re in good health, we still have some money in the bank, the phone’s working again; the house, car, bike, boat and furniture are all paid for, and there’s food on the table. Can’t be bad, can it?

The challenge at present is to decide what direction we’re taking: opportunities have begun presenting themselves, and most of them are mutually exclusive. We’ll let you know what develops.

So what’s been happening? Well, we bought a mobile beer cooler (see earlier post), and I’ve passed my test to ride it. We’ve had lots of people staying at the guesthouse, and are fairly well booked up through to 6th July. The guesthouse website has been updated, and we’ve started charging in Brazilian Reais instead of the declining Greenback. We’ve had two wonderful guesthouse reviews written up on Trip Adviser, which is really nice. We’ve finished a third bedroom for ourselves downstairs, and I’ve been reasonably successfully wiring and/or re-wiring various bits and pieces (this 110v stuff is easy!). We’ve finally managed to stop the rain leaking into our office. Our beautiful Brasileira tree (I think it’s called a Brasileira) has been attacked by some sort of mite. I broke our Sky box, so now we have no TV. I also scraped the car, and a friend of ours reversed into it on the same day. This was after one of the brake discs cracked. Fun fun fun. We’ve managed to get Skype working with a landline call forwarding option now, so if you want to phone us for free you can (e-mail me if you want the details). Naice is starting two new courses this month – tourism and logistics management - and I’m well on with the soon-to-be-bestseller ‘The Wisdom of Oz’. Someone has put me forward for teaching Portuguese, which is at the very least amusing (well, probably not for the student), if not terrifying. We’ve had a couple of Golden Tegus (pic) visit the garden, as well as a rash of Sauim de Colera monkeys (pic). The horn and voltmeter on the boat have stopped working, but I’m sure I’ll get it sorted out soon (anyone know how to wire a voltmeter?), and I had to replace the prop after I pranged it on some iron rails. Tsk.

We had an old friend of mine visit us from Boa Vista, which was great fun and naturally led to much drinking and singing and what-have-you. Although he’s now gone back, there may be a joint project for us coming along, and I’m looking into this at the moment.

And I think that’s about it. To those of you awaiting an e-mail, our apologies. We figured we should do the blog first and then tackle the backlog. We will be catching everything up over the next week. We miss all of you back in Ireland. Yes, even you. So take it easy and enjoy your woefully inadequate summer, and remember we’re ready for your visit whenever you can come.

Wildlife Update

This one’s just for Peter. Naice came across this banana spider in the kitchen, so I leapt into action, bagged him in one of the dogs’ food storage buckets and took a photo before releasing him near a suitable banana plant. There’s a 20p piece in there just for perspective, although this chap would probably be considered a smallish specimen (but plenty big enough when you find him crawling over your pots and pans). Just don’t ask for any photos of jaguars please Pete...

The other shot I took on the way back from spidey’s photo shoot. The frogs and toads like to gather around the swimming pool of an evening, presumably to catch flies or mate, or sing "half way up the stairs" or something. This wouldn’t be so bad, except that they also like to crap in the pool from time to time, and well, you know, big frogs = big frog turds. So I have to get the pool vacuum out every morning to get rid of it all. Most annoying. Anyway, I noticed this chap was stuck in the pool. To explain, I cleaned the filter today, which means pumping water out of the pool through the filter. If the water drops below a certain level, the frogs, once they’re in the pool (they jump in to avoid the attentions of Ozzie and Kelly), can’t get out again. So I scooped him out, subjected him to a few photos, and left him to it. No doubt he is even now pooing in the pool, the ingrate.

As usual, click to enlarge the photos.

Latest News

“Irreverent, mischievous, fun”, they said about Boris Johnson. I used to think so too, until I read his biography. It would seem, based on this, that in fact “arrogant, cynical, elitist” would be more appropriate epithets. Born into a privileged family, cosseted and pampered through Eton and Oxford, competence far outstripped by ambition, he has spent his life totally isolated from most of the issues the populace confront. In fact I suspect he has about as much in common with your average Londoner as Atilla the Hun. But you have to hand it to him – he acts up wonderfully. Best of luck London.

Meanwhile, back in Amazonas, we are told that it has become common practice for mayors to move around from place to place in order to continue their professional mayoral careers (a euphemism for sustainable white-collar crime). Although in Brazil the basic principle is that you can’t run more than two consecutive terms, there’s a slight loophole. If you move to the next city down the road, you’re eligible to run for mayor there instead. So that’s what they’re all doing. It’s like a mayor-fest, with the same people popping up –now here, now there – time after time; and the record is currently held by Yves Ribeiro, who is up for his fifth consecutive mayorship. Well, if you ask me, just like their London counterparts, the electorate only have themselves to blame.

The biggest domino competition in Amazonas starts today. Hundreds of people will compete for the chance to be one of the 64 teams to go on to the next phase in June and ultimately compete in July for the top prizes: 2 new cars and 2 freezers full of beer. I’m almost tempted to compete myself.

A new Latin American dancing season is upon us, and the dance schools have opened their doors once more to any beginners who fancy their chances on the dance floors of Manaus. Why is this news, you may ask? Well, chiefly because Naice and I have taken the plunge and signed up for a bit of Salsa. After two lessons we can both already move forward, backward and sideways, although regretably not always at the same time. Never mind - with two lessons a week over the next couple of months, we hope we’ll be successfully Salsa-ing through the Amazon summer.

Hello, Hola, Privyet.

Just like to welcome our new readers from Australia, Argentina and Russia. Oh, and konnichi wa to Andrew in Japan. Thanks for stopping by folks!

Front page news this week

Viagra consumption amongst young men (25-32) in Manaus is on the increase. The use of such stimulants is not controlled in Brazil, so anyone can buy them, which may be part of the problem don't you think? Anyway, apparently the latest thing is a product called Vivanza, which alledgedly lasts for 12 hours and can be taken with alcohol. I see in the newspaper that in the photograph they have of the product, the boxes are clearly labelled "Amostra Gratis", or "Free Sample". Hmm. No doubt someone is making a bob or two on these. Well, boys will be boys I suppose - making money, having (lots of) sex etc...

...but perhaps if they could just rest up for a while they might have time to look at the filthy state they're making of Manaus. Apparently Manaus spent R$4m last year on cleaning 2.8m tons of cr*p out of the city's streams and rivers - everything from fridges to dead dogs, and no doubt empty viagra boxes and used prophylactics. To the outsider, it is no doubt depressing that there is no apparent sense of responsibility amongst the majority here with respect to litter and hygiene. And of course the local government is right to complain about it. But then the lack of education, lack of infrastructure, lack of money, lack of opportunity and lack of healthcare probably don't help the situation, and who is it that provides this...?

A local politician and his wife have been charged with 8 counts of, amongst other things, operating a gang, corruption, fraud, contrabanding and money laundering. I can't see what all the fuss is about, given the propensity of the majority of Brazil's finest for, um, the opportunistic diversion of such goods, cash and services as may be required for the maintenance of a pleasant lifestyle - but it seems at the moment that the problem is this pair have been put in a clink along with common criminals. Shock horror - that really is front page news, isn't it...

Iranduba

Last weekend we took a trip to Iranduba on Charlie’s intergalactic battlecruiser the Sammy III. Owing to the relative absence of beer on board, I actually arrived sober for a change, and in spite of Robson’s ability to mix cachaca, limes, sugar and water into some excellent caipirinha, I managed to maintain my relative sobriety for the whole day. Indeed the weather was excellent, the company good, and all was generally sweetness and light. And I must add that Naice caught her first fish - and we even managed to get it on camera. There is nothing quite like a trip down/up the Amazon to recharge the batteries and put things in perspective. I’ve nothing to add to this except some photos which I managed to snap en route. So there you are. Have a nice day and all that sort of thing.