Sao Paulo

Well, here we are languishing in Sao Paulo, waiting for Saturday and our onward flight to Manaus, 2500 miles away by air, or a lifetime away for us (well, half a lifetime).

Ozzie was rescued this morning from the clutches of the dreaded Receita Federal or Federal customs. We arrived at the (helpfully unnamed) central cargo area at 08:30 this morning, and after visiting British Airways once (6th Floor, Room 21), Infraero 4 times (Ground Floor, Room 5), the Federal Vet twice (Ground Floor, Room 6), the official cartorio (or place where you are sent to get forms and copies of documents) 5 times, and the Banco do Brasil once (Ground floor, Room 3), we were finally able to secure the release of our hostage to outrageous bureaucracy at just after 11:00am. A typical exchange went something like

"We're here to pick up our dog, and here are all the papers."
"Do you have a form 1234xyz?"
"A what?"
"A 1234xyz."
"Um, no."
"OK. Go the cartorio and ask for two copies of form 1234xyz and come back."
"We'll also need copies of this...and this...and two copies of this...and this."
After a round trip to the Cartorio....
"OK. Now you need to take this, this this and this to Room x."
In room X...
"We're here to pick up our dog etc.."
"Do you have a form abc123 and def456?"
"No."
"OK. You'll need to go to the Cartorio and blah blah blah."

So, you may ask, why don't the people who need the forms keep copies of the forms, and/or do the photocopying themselves and/or tell you in advance what you need to bring? Well, because half the Brazilian population is employed in taking photocopies and running from room to room throughout the land, that's why. Let's face it, if anybody got the hots for a bit of intelligent efficiency, the entire economy would collapse.

Never mind, he's here now and none the worse for it. He's been out to see what Sao Paulo looks like (big, smelly, hot) and have a pee and a poo; he's drunk half the water in our minibar, had some food and a bath, and he's flat out now on his blanket. Meanwhile Naice has had to go back to the airport to sort out the tickets for Saturday, and we've to get him examined by a vet tomorrow to get his cert. for onward travel.

The hotel is fine - only 15 mins from the airport in the district of Guarulhos, northwest of the main city which can be clearly seen from the hotel, sprawling out like some giant lego set, with helicopters and planes whizzing around everywhere and above which floats a huge pall of brown smog. Lovely. The few of the 29 million inhabitants we've encountered seem happy enough with it, but it's not for us. The only thing that has impressed us is that all the taxis are converted to run on petrol and gas and alcohol (no, not at the same time). The favoured fuel at present is gas.

BTW, our internet access is a bit hit and miss at present, so forgive us if you're awaiting an e-mail response or anything. This is likely to get much worse before it gets better, so please bear with us.

Whistle-stop tour of the South & Southwest

The success of our foray to the Royal Albert Hall (photo) was followed by a second journey to London to deliver Ozzie into the hands of the kennels.

From there we drove down to Plymouth to see my cousin Anton, and enjoyed a very pleasant evening there with a curry followed by a drink in the nearby Irish bar. We took note of the various cultural artefacts on display, that we might replicate these in Brazil (mercifully there weren't too many leprechauns or shamrocks etc), and Naice reckons she has a good idea of how it's all going to look.

Next day Anton took us to see an old (1899) sailing barge (photo), called Shamrock, after which we have decided to name our own somewhat smaller version in brazil. After this we were off again, up the A38 to Bristol, thence to Chepstow, on to Gloucester and Stratford-upon-Avon and back to Scunthorpe. We were suitably impressed by the Clifton Suspension bridge, the Tamar bridge, the Severn Bridge, Chepstow Castle (well worth a visit) and Stratford's half-timbered houses.

Once back in sunny Scunny, and after a good night's sleep, we were treated to a wonderful meal in the company of the now-long-suffering Dawn and Garry, and today Garry managed a great barbeque to round it all off. I'm sure they'll be glad to see the back of us tomorrow, but we'll miss you!

We leave at 12:00 to drive to Heathrow, drop the car off and get to the bag drop off point (we managed to check-in online and get decent seats (for scum-class, anyway). I will as usual be asking for a free upgrade when I get there, but on the basis that the usual response goes something like "ha ha- if only I had a pound for every time someone asks..." etc., I'm not hopeful. I hear about people who know people who do this successfully, but now that I think of it I've never spoken to anyone who has personally succeeded in the endeavour. Perhaps it's a myth.

Anyway, this will be our final post until we get to Brazil, so thanks again to everyone and talk soon.

Sunny Scunny

We caught the HSS ferry on Friday morning, delivered there by Rabea in style. The journey was fine, and Ozzie didn't seem too upset after his trip in the HSS kennel (on the car deck). We hired a Focus Sport 1.6 and the drive to Scunthorpe was uneventful, except that I strongly recommend not buying a petrol Focus Sport 1.6 - what a dog. They must have put the word Sport on the badge just because it shares the same initial letter as Slow or Slug. And far from the 56mpg we got out of the diesel version of the same car on our trip to the Mull of Kintyre, we're lucky to get 32mpg out of the petrol version. What a pile of crap.

We're now enjoying the excellent hospitality of our good friends Dawn and Gary in Sunny Scunny. The weather has been ridiculously good, and we also managed to fit in a trip to see Happy Birthday Elgar at the Royal Albert Hall last Saturday.

Pomp and Circumstance March No. 1 (Land of Hope and Glory)
Cello Concerto
Enigma Variations
Pomp and Circumstance March No. 4
Cockaigne Overture
Julian Lloyd-Webber - cello
Royal Philharmonic Orchestra
Christopher Warren-Green - conductor

Apart from the 7.5 hour round trip in the car, the concert was excellent, with Julian Lloyd Weber playing his heart out and the orchestra doing us proud with three choruses of Land of Hope and Glory. The sound of 5000 voices in vague harmony in the RAH really has to be experienced in the flesh.

We have finally exchanged our Sterling for Reais, having watched the exchange rate collapse on us at just the wrong time. C'est la vie. And tomorrow we take young Ozzie down to kennels at Heathrow (boo hoo), where he has to wait for his papers to be processed before his flight next week. From there we drive to Saltash to stay with cousin Anton, and thence to Kidderminster to visit the auction house where our 3 irish watercolours will come under the hammer in June (if we make £300 we'll be lucky). We'll be back in Scunthorpe on Saturday and after a day of rest we'll be driving back down to Heathrow on Monday to fly out in the evening to Sao Paulo.

Our passports languish with the Brazilian Embassy in London, despatched there on 23rd May in order to get a piece of paper confirming that we have been resident in the UK for the previous 12 months (which means we avoid being taxed again on the goods and money we are transferring to Brazil). I have rarely come across an institution so utterly and consistently incompetent as the Brazilian embassy. Nuff said. Hopefully they will send the stuff back tomorrow and we will get it by Saturday. Talk about cutting it fine...?

It's your round

The farewell get-together for drinkies happened as planned at the Cutter's Wharf in Belfast on Wednesday 30th. It was great to see everybody again before leaving, and we really appreciated the company!

Thanks to everyone for a great night - here are some photos from the evening, and if anyone has any others that they'd like posted, please send them to me at home@maguirenet.com I'll add them as I get them. Click (or double-click) on the images to enlarge them.

The hardcore drinkers who remained took part in the pub quiz which kicked off at 10:00pm, and whilst the highlight of the night was just seeing everybody again, I have to mention that we won the quiz by 2 points, after some fine cheating principally by Peter, Lee, and Sarah. Well done. I'm still convinced there's a biblical character called Tarantulus. And if there isn't, there should be. The prize was a bottle of Vodka, which Sarah swopped for wine, and which Stuart made disappear.

Naice's lasting memory will probably be Sarah shouting "los-er" at the guy trying his best to win the £350 "open the box" event (it's a long story), and she now refers to Sarah as "Mad Sarah", an accolade she probably richly deserves (in the nicest possible sense).

Thank you all - you're wonderful and we'll miss you. If anyone hasn't sent me their e-mail address, please do so and I'll keep you up to date. After some discussion, and based on my Cousin Anton's original idea, it looks like the official opening of Maguire's Floating Irish Bar and Cultural Centre will be 17th March 2008, so I hope you'll all be able to come. We can provide the food, drink and accomodation if you can get yourself on a plane.