Ozzie

Ozzie has not been well. He got some sort of intestinal infection and started pooing blood all over the place. So it was off to the vet. To cut a long story short, he is now recovering (and here's a photo of he and friend Charlie enjoying themselves last weekend, to prove it...) and becoming his old irritating self once more.

Interestingly, the vet’s solution involved handing us wadges of syringes and needles and asking us to inject him with whatever-it-is every day. For various reasons some of you will be familiar with, I’m no stranger to administering injections, but I do wonder whether this could ever happen in the UK…? Anyway dogs are obviously not as squeamish as us humans, and he was as good as gold. Not so, me: ever since I saw a film where they injected an air bubble into someone to kill them, I spend 10 seconds drawing up 20mls of fluid and then 10 minutes (and about 10mls of fluid) trying to get the air bubbles out of the syringe. Ah well, he survived and is almost back to his old self.

The cause of the problem we have traced to the fertilizer Naice’s mum gave us. Ozzie loves it! Unfortunately, the fertilizer is predominantly chicken crap, which apparently is not good for dogs – so there’s a tip for all you dog-lovers out there. Lay off the chicken shit.

Boo-hisssss...

We had a bit of a to-do with a couple of snakes the other week. In the absence of my I-Spy snake books, and therefore unable to identify the little blighters, I thought I would just shoo them away with a stick (innocent until proved guilty, right?). This was a mistake, I admit. Snakes obviously don’t like being shooed away with sticks (but I had unfortunately left my recorder at Primary School). After a run in with one of them whereby I managed with great difficulty to get myself cornered by the snake (my intentions were quite the contrary, you understand), I managed to flick it out of the way more by luck than judgement, and beat a hasty retreat. Naice then informed me that while I was performing this death-defying feat, the snake’s mate (which I hadn’t noticed) was trying to have a pop at me from behind.

That was the end of my snake-charming efforts, as (quite fortuitously) we had to go across the river to see Naice’s parents). It was only later that day that we had a reasonably positive ID on the little blighters, and were left in no doubt that a) the solution is that you kill them before they kill you; and b) you don’t go at them with a 2ft stick. You beat them over the head with a very looong stick. In short, they’re not very nice at all. Anyway, by the time we got back, they were quite gone - so there we are, I’ve saved another small percentage of the Amazon fauna. Happy days.

Fruit juice and rain

After a bit of a false start, I am assured the wet season is upon us. Too late for a lot of our grass, unfortunately, as the gardener got carried away with the new electric lawnmower we bought and set it so low you could shave with it. Shorn to within an inch (more like a millimetre) of its life, and with no rain for a few weeks, a lot of it has just given up the ghost (where did that expression come from I wonder?).

On the other hand some of the fruit trees (notably papaya – if I never see another papaya it will be too soon) have been tripping over themselves in the rush to produce their remaing fruit, so we’re well stocked with fruit juice.

Alo...?

We have all but spent our meagre savings now, and are casting about for some form of earnings (as well as the guesthouse). This is proving tougher than we thought. I placed an ad (in English) explicitly for "motivated advanced students" and have had at least 20 responses. On the face of it, this is good. Unfortunately they’ve been from complete set of idiots whose knowledge of English is about as advanced as my arse, so most of the conversations went something along the lines of this:

ME: "Hello?"

THEM: "Alo?"

ME: "You wanted to know about English lessons?"

THEM: "Alo?"

ME: "Queria informacaoes sobre as aulas de ingles?"

THEM: "Ah. Sim."

ME: "OK. So can we speak in Emglish?"

THEM: "Alo..?"

Never mind, we’ll think of something. Where did I put that plan 'B'…?

Lago Janauary

On 25th November Naice and I went off to explore Lago Janauary (which it is just sooo tempting to call “Lago January”, but one mustn’t must one?) Due to some communication problems (mine, I am assured), Naice thought we were going fishing, whereas I thought we were going just for the hell of it. After a minor argument in the boat, we left in, um, pensive mood. But all was well in the end, as we reached our destination (about 30km southeast, roughly where the Negro and Solimoes meet) and managed to navigate our way into the lake via a channel which my ecobatimetro told me was only 2ft deep.

Having explored a little, and then stopped at a flutuante for a cold beer, Naice phoned friends Charlie and Annick and we agreed to meet at another flutuante near our marina for lunch. The return trip was done in a little over 75 minutes in somewhat lively water, and a very pleasant lunch was had by all (although I had to eat fish as penance for the earlier misunderstanding. Ah well, better than humble pie, I guess).

The boat has thus done just under 40 hours already, and - touch wood - no problems so far. Long may it continue.