'Piqued', of Manaus, writes...

I’m not one to complain, but….

The electricity went off again (as usual) in the last storm, but this time it came back on at an under-voltage. This is not something with which I have hitherto had to concern myself, but it transpires that this is just the sort of thing you don’t want when you’re running a pump. 'What happens?' I hear you ask. 'Give us a technical, blow-by-blow account – cause and effect and all that', I hear you a-clammering. And I can now tell you. What happens is that bloody thing catches fire – that’s what happens. Naice and I, having taken our customary naked rain shower (don’t knock it ‘til you’ve done it) were standing by the front door congratulating ourselves on having remembered to unplug the telephone, the TV, the Sky box, the air-conditioners and the fridge, when Naice pointed out the rather large cloud of black smoke billowing from behind the swimming pool filter. Although I ran as fast as I could to switch it off (and let me tell you there’s at least one very good reason someone invented underwear), I wasn’t in time to stop the whole thing going into melt down. Thank you Manaus Energia, you useless, incompetent pillocks.

Five days later (long story, won’t bore you), we now have a new pump and an ECB, protecting us from over-voltage, under-voltage, heat, lightning strike, frogs in the pool, dirty guests and frostbite. Or something like that.

So - what happened today, when the inevitable storm came and the power went off? I switched the whole electrical system off manually. Talk about having a dog and barking yourself…

Fishing III

We took the opportunity to escape across the river for a night on Saturday. There wasn’t much happening in the way of fish, but it was very pleasant nonetheless. We took Ozzie with us, and left Kelly with the run of the garden. On the other side of the river we met up with friend Charlie (in battlecruiser Sammy III), and Paulo, Robson and Joao (in the more traditional IV Neto).

The fish steadfastly refused to appear, but the food and drink flowed and a good time was had by all. The only problem with taking Ozzie is that he does need to piddle, so it’s off to find a suitable place twice a day (at least). Fortunately, since it’s low water now (regular readers will know that the end of October is low water), there are vast stretches of beach everywhere, so he was very happy.

Red Tailed Boa

We have a new visitor to the garden, who has surprised Naice and the dogs twice now. Last time, Naice managed to get it to pose for the camera. It’s really nice to see it as I believe it’s not that common. It’s also non-poisonous, which is always a bonus. They can grow to up to 4 metres in length, although ours is, thankfully, somewhat smaller. I haven't actually seen the thing myself yet, but no doubt will do in due course.

Good looking, isn't (s)he?

Amazon Pub Quiz

I’ve decided to try to organise a pub quiz here for all the ex-pats (and anyone interested in practising their English). I have a number of candidate bars, and all I need is to drum up enough support to get the thing off the ground. I also hope to persuade a nice kind band to play on the night for free-or-very-little. I also need to come up with some pub quiz questions and a sort of plan as to how it’s going to be done etc. Since my knowledge of pub quizzes is limited to those attended at the SEELB, I will have to draw on this to come up with a model. If anyone has any (sensible) suggestions, or knows of any online resource(s), please let me know!

Boa Vista

Boa Vista is Brasil’s northern-most capital (and almost its northernmost town - of any size). It lies around 900km north of Manaus, in the state of Roraima. Part of Mount Roraima (up which I have been – thanks Mr Churchill) lies within the state, and it borders the southernmost state of Mr Chavez’ personal oil field, Venezuela.

I have two friends up there – Emerson, a lawyer, and Martin, who’s just, well, Martin. And I decided to visit them. It’s expensive to get there by plane, so the only other course of action is car/bike (not recommended because of the state of the roads), or omnibus. At R$90 one-way, this seemed like a good idea, and off I went. The original scheduled time is 12 hours bus station to bus station, and after 12 hours you’re generally ready to get off just wherever you happen to be at the time. In our case, unfortunately, it ended up taking 14 hours 20 mins. Joy. And on the way back we didn’t fare (pardon pun) too well either, making it in a pretty poor 14 hours. Having stayed up there for just less than 24 hours, I conclude that the 28 hours 20mins on the bus isn’t really worth it (sorry lads). Of course it ought to be quite interesting, since the bus passes through the Waimiri-Atroari indigenous reserve (no stopping, no photographing, thank you very much) – but since we passed through it in the dark on the way up, and I was asleep on the way back, I’m sorry to say that all I can tell you about it is that the road is awful and the indigenous folk don’t have street lights.

Never mind – herewith a photo from the garden, of the lesser spotted banana thief, and one of Naice enjoying a caipirinha at our local. None of you would of course be so tasteless as to ask which one is which...

We have been psychedelically tested

We have now been subjected to a rigorous psychedelic examination, but in spite of this, we are apparently fit to adopt. All we need to wait for now is the piece of paper that confirms this, and then we will be on The List. Scary stuff or what..?

I mentioned before that Manaus was just about to re-elect the most (allegedly) corrupt, (allegedly) inept, (allegedly) ignorant (alleged) moron as Mayor, even after having experienced his reign of (alleged) abject uselessness in the past. And so it has come to pass. I have asked a good cross-section of the population (from the gardener to the doctor to the Director of BIC) and EVERYONE INSISTS that they didn’t and wouldn’t EVER vote for this guy. “So why,” I asked, “has he been elected again?” “Ah well,” they nod, “it’s the indigent and ignorant, you see. They love him.” So there we are – it seems that over 50% of the population here are indigent, ignorant, or both.

Although we now have our new camera, unfortunately there hasn’t been much opportunity to use it. True, we went fishing up the Negro last week, but it turned out to be dull for two days, and trees and shrubbery and the like don’t look like much without a bit of sun. Neither does brown or black water, for that matter. True, I did see - for the first time in my life - two Ariranha (Giant Amazon River Otters), but I was fishing on a river bank without the camera at the time. I can tell you, however, that the adjective “giant” is perfect. And true, I did go to Boa Vista to see some friends (see separate entry), but Naice needed the camera for her course, so that was that. We were also scheduled to go to Barcelos (but we haven’t had enough time), and down the BR319 (cancelled by one of the group). So we’ve been confined to taking the odd pic here and there around the house, and that’s what you see here.

News at last

Hello all, and thanks for the concerned enquiries. However, I’m pleased to report that rumours of my demise have been exaggerated, and we’re still struggling along here. The problem is a combination of ridiculous internet connection problems (as discussed previously) and a large number of guesthouse enquiries. The result is that most of the internet time I get has to be devoted to the enquiries, and the rest of the time is spent either looking after guests or tidying up after them! Sorry Betty, will try to do better.

Anyway, what’s been happening? The adoption police came and went and we now have our appointment with the shrink on 20th October. In the meantime, someone phoned us to offer us triplets. Yes - triplets! Aside from being borderline illegal, I really don’t think we could handle triplets – well, not unless we closed the guesthouse and stopped all our other activities, leaving us no income at all. If on the other hand, anyone would like to sponsor a family, just say the word…

We have a new camera, brought to us by a friend visiting the USA. If you’re interested, it’s a Panasonic Lumix TZ5 with a 10x optical zoom, a 28mm lens and 9.1 megapixels. Unfortunately, until we acquire an SD card for it, we won’t be taking many photos - but I’ll probably have some for the next blog entry. Here’s one of Kelly in the meantime.

Naice has been busy with her Tourism degree (someone here asked her if she would be a qualified tourist on completion of the course), and has been running all over the place evaluating local tourist attractions (conclusion so far – they’re fine except for the fact that they don’t understand the need to provide information or assistance to the tourists J). On the strength of her first presentation, she has been invited to do another one at a university showcase event next week – very impressive.

We have a couple of weeks without guests now, hopefully enabling me to catch up with my personal correspondence (sorry folks), giving us the opportunity to evaluate some other business possibilities, and maybe even allowing us the chance to get out and about a bit. Speaking of which, I’m going down the BR319 with Naice’s brothers on Thursday, to have a look at some land there. The BR319 is the theoretical road running between Manaus and Porto Velho (to be more precise, Humaita). On the map, it’s approximately 700km long; on the ground, it becomes pretty much impassable after 200km. This fact is particularly interesting, given that the land we’re going to look at is 250km away. I’m also going fishing with friend Charlie on Friday, for the first time in an age, and I’m looking forward to it. We hope to both go to Barcelos next week if we can, particularly as there is a chance I can do an article on it for a Dutch magazine (long story – later, later…). Further ahead, we have friends Dawn and Garry (maybe) coming to see us for Christmas, and then…well, 2009 is too far away to think about just yet. Besides, before we get to Christmas, we have a very busy November to cope with, with 14 guesthouse bookings so far (yikes). Interestingly, although December is looking fairly quiet, we have a confirmed booking for….December 25th. Well, why not? In fact, perhaps the Library Board would like to have the Christmas party here – should I get the beer in now…?

As always, will try to post more frequently in future.

The adoption police are coming

We are to receive the adoption police on Monday at 10:30. One assumes they will want to interrogate us with respect to our income, our bank balance, and our jobs, as well as to see how well prepared we might be to look after additional small persons. It is always tempting to question the justice of this when there are so many unwanted babies born here to single mothers with no visible means of support (does anyone remember that ad.?), but I have to admit it is for the most part very sensible stuff, so we will grin and bear it. At least (one hopes), they will not be asking questions like “what was your first sexual experience?”, which is one of the questions the British system poses to prospective adopters, along with a system of investigation which sometimes seems as logical, sensitive, unbiased - and expensive - as the Inquisition.

Are camera's broke

I’ll have to do something about the lack of photos on the blog at the moment, but you’ll have to be patient – I’m afraid our camera has succumbed to the heat and refuses to work. I’m not quite sure where we’re going to find the funds to replace it, cameras being a bit pricey here, but I think we’ll need to find it – there’s a whole rainforest out there to photograph. In fact (typically) since the damned thing broke we’ve had all sorts of opportunities to photograph stuff. Two nights ago, for example, the largest Praying Mantis I have ever seen fell in the swimming pool – it was so large, it emptied all the water out (okay, I’m allowed some hyperbole) – and although it subsequently popped its clogs, and although I carefully preserved it for two days before the ants carried most of it off, I have been unable to get you the pics you deserve. And even as I write, we have a baby bird outside which has fallen from its nest and which we are trying to take some care of which I would love to photograph, but alas it’s not to be. We have also planted more trees in the garden and built a new patio, been to various new places with our guests, and been up and down the Taruma in the Shamrock - all of which I would like to have photographed – but we are pictureless. Sorry. Normal service will resume as soon as possible.

The 2014 World Cup

All politicking has been forgotten, as a united Manaus becomes a hive of planning and activity in the run up to the most significant event in its history for a century as it prepares for the vast influx of visitors coming here for the world cup….ha ha…ha ha ha…no sorry, I can’t continue this piece without laughing too much. Ha ha ha...

Guesthouse Visitors

The guesthouse has been busy this last 8 weeks, with visitors from all over the place (France, Slovakia, Austria, New Zealand, the USA, Spain and even Brazil). And now we have the Irish arriving on 13th September: the first native-English-speaker we’ve had (I mean native-British(or Irish)-English-speaker). Apart from this, we’ve had no-one from the British Isles at all. Not even the merest whiff of a booking enquiry (and our guests on 13th are only here because they work for the Irish embassy in Brasilia...) What conclusions we are to draw from this I don’t know, but I’m beginning to suspect that – contrary to my expectations - the British and Irish would rather spend their hard-earned leisure time in Europe than anywhere further afield. Well, we’ll no doubt see how true this is over the coming months.

Weathering the weather

It is now bakingly, unmercifully hot here. The first three weeks in September are the hottest, driest weeks of the year, and although this gives us an opportunity to patch up the leaks in the house, it’s so hot you (I) can hardly work for more than 30 minutes outside without melting. But I’ve managed to slap what they call cold asphalt all over the exposed brickwork on the roof, and I’m hoping I’ll be able to make some repairs to the concrete guttering on Monday or Tuesday. It may be a big gutter, but the sheer volume of water that cascades into it from the huge expanse of tin roof (maybe 20m x 12m?) means it just isn’t big enough. Not only that, but the twit who designed it forgot to build in a proper slope, so that some of the water that collects either overflows straight into the roof void or slowly seeps into the surrounding brickwork. Never mind – into everyone’s life a little rain must fall – although I do wish it wasn’t through the ceiling.

Comments? What comments?

Can anyone actually see the Recent Comments..?

Deeper and Down.

Look, can’t you people out there do something about the appalling collapse of the Pound? What little Naice and I have left over in the UK is becoming (relatively) littler by the day – possibly by the hour. From the 4 Reais to the pound we nearly got when we left, today it’s just 2.99! Come on – where’s your backbone? Work harder! Spend more! Do something!

And a not-so-global welcome

I have been roundly castigated for not including Bottesford in my geographical greetings. Well let me remedy this forthwith: welcome Bottesford readers one and all!

If anyone wants to know where Bottesford is, I suggest they get out a large-scale map of the north of England and a suitably strong magnifying glass...

(I would have put in an http link for Bottesford (if indeed one exists), but then I thought "why?")

"And the times...." II

Stop the press - times are not changing at all. Politically, they are standing still - possibly going backwards. Why? Well, it's mayoral election time in Manaus, and the glorious Manaus electorate is about to elect the most (allegedly) corrupt, ignorant, stupid candidate - and they have some experience on which to base their opinions, because he's already been Mayor once before - by a landslide! Calloo Callay!

"And the times...."

Times have changed. Here in the middle of the Amazon, and with a few notable exceptions, you can now just about get anything you can in Europe or the States. But then of course it’s the notable exceptions that get to you: no unsweetened peanut butter, for example; no biodegradeable poop-bags (for the dogs, you understand); and no Pool Devil Automatic Swimming Pool Skimmer. I can get (but I don’t need), a laser measuring-tape-spirit-level-and-nail-detector. I can get an AB-Stretch-rowing-cycling-pushme-pullyou-machine. And I can get an extendable multi-function-all-purpose step-ladder. But I can’t get a simple, straightforward Pool Devil Automatic Swimming Pool Skimmer. No, sir.

Deeply Held Beliefs

Here in Brasil the population is predominantly Catholic. It’s the kind of good, healthy non-state state religion that I like, in that for the most part no-one takes a blind bit of notice of it. And normally, neither do I. However, two things I found odd recently which I feel inclined to pass on. Firstly, the Catholic population is apt to call Protestants – of the evangelising persuasion (you’re right, I’m not quite sure what that means – but then frankly I couldn’t care a fig) – ‘Crentes’. This word comes from the verb Crer, ‘to believe’, which begs the obvious question, does it not..? Secondly, Naice was informed quite matter-of-factly the other day by one of the Protestant (evangelist) community that they don’t attend any of the Catholic festivals (this is the only part of Catholicism that most Brasilians take seriously – the parties) because they would be poisoned. The comment was made when Naice was organising the local ‘Festa Junina’ for our neighbourhood. Festa Junina is a Catholic celebration of some description or other (please don’t enlighten me, anyone) to which the whole local community is invited, and it takes the form of a very pleasant street party, with games for the kids, food and dancing and drinking and a bonfire. Unfortunately she was unable to persuade a considerable number of the ‘Crentes’ that they would be safe to attend, which left her mystified until the above comment explained all. So that’s fine, then.

It’s comforting to know that religious bigotry is alive and kicking in even the remotest corners of the world, isn’t it? What would we do without religion?

A global welcome

I have been remiss in welcoming new visitors from around the globe, so to those of you who have reached us from or via (not in any order):

India, Norway, Finland, Saudi Arabia, Israel, Botswana, The Lebanon, Bangladesh, Thailand, The Philippines, Taiwan, Puerto Rico, Mexico, Barbados, Portugal, Italy, Switzerland, Holland, Germany, or Bolivia...

...thanks for stopping by!

I've added a link to the guesthouse website now, under "Some Links", for those who were asking recently. And if anyone has any other site(s) or blog(s) they think should be added, please let me know.

Novo Airao

The trip to Novo Airao went well, in spite of some weird weather on the way up, with wind and current both from the northwest, and which whipped the river into rather an agitated state (sorry Hilary – no pictures of this). It was nothing too wild, but very tiring, as there’s a 20km stretch of open water which you can’t really avoid crossing, and you have to just buffet your way through. It also took me a bit by surprise, as I’d insisted that we leave just before dawn (pic) to avoid ‘the weather’. Anyway, once across the open stretch, in the lee of the first of the Anavilhanas’ estimated 400 islands, the whole thing quietened down considerably, and the rest of it was plain, um, sailing, as it were. But it did mean it took us around 4 hours to get to our destination. We stopped at the relatively new Anavilhanas Lodge to have a quick look around: it seems fine, and the people were friendly, so we’ll probably be recommending this as an option to guests seeking a jungle lodge. After this, we headed around the corner to the one-boat village of Novo Airao itself. And of course the primary aim of this was to see what all the fuss was about with these dolphins.

The port of Novo Airao is very small, with hardly room to squeeze the Shamrock in between a few other local boats, and when you get off your boat you’re greeted with a dusty street, a few ramshackle bars and a kind of terminal for people to get on and off the regional boats plying their trade between Manaus and Barcelos or Sao Gabriel da Cachoeira. Across the little harbour is a white flutuante where they’ll sell you a (very small) fish for (very much – R$15!) money, to feed the dolphins; and at the back of the flutuante, you can just hop in the water with your fish and hand it out to your new-found friends. Naturally, I had to have a go – so it was off with at least some of the togs and straight into the water. I didn’t have any fish at this point, and the dolphins wouldn’t let me forget it – they nudged, flippered and generally cajoled me until Naice arrived with the (somewhat frozen) fish.

It was amazing being in the water with these wee beasties. I thought they would be gentle, shy, intelligent Flipper-like beings who would uncannily understand me as if telepathically and so on (a bit like my colleagues at SEELB, maybe…). Not so – they behaved like spoilt dogs and spent their time bullying everyone into handing out the fish; and as soon as all the fish was gone, well, so were they. But it was still a fantastic experience, and thoroughly recommended. You can see me being flippered in one of the photos, which should amuse some of you.

On the way back, we strayed into the Anavilhanas reserve itself, and pottered along one of its totally deserted canals, with the river like a mirror and the undisturbed, primary rainforest towering along its banks. Apart from an occasional flock of red Macaws, screeching on their way overhead, when we stopped the engine it was so quiet all you could hear was a faint ringing in your ears (or maybe that was tinnitus). Wonderful. One of the photos shows how difficult it can be sometimes to figure out quite where the river ends and the sky begins.

The NW breeze had dropped almost completely and we worked out that the speed of the current (now in our favour) was about 2.5 - 3kph, so we were fairly skimming along at around 45kph on the way back, and made the whole journey in 2 hours 45 minutes, even with our stop in the Anavilhanas. Average speed on the way up, 28kph; on the way back, 41kph – a record I doubt I shall ever beat in the Shamrock.

p.s. Some myths debunked, following the trip: 1) the deepest water in the Negro is 150ft – nonsense - we measured 285ft at one point; and 2) the widest clear stretch (i.e. no islands in the way) of the Negro is 9.8km – rubbish, we realised this on the way up, and if you measure in Google Earth, you can see that the widest stretch is approximately11.98km.