Random Walk

* Move to Wordpress *

2009-06-11T10:18:00.003+01:00

Due in part to my increasing frustration with working with photos here on Blogger, the Random Walk Blog has been transferred to Wordpress. You can view it here:

http://maguiresblog.wordpress.com

Let me know how you get on with it, and for the moment I'll keep the Blogger content available, and will check both blogs for comments for the next month or so - then if the new blog works out okay, I'll remove this one.

Manaus 2014

2009-06-02T14:30:00.007+01:00

Joseph Blatter, president of FIFA, announced on Sunday 31st May that Manaus will be one of the 12 Brazilian cities to host matches in the 2014 World Cup.

This is great news for Manaus, and is likely to be the biggest thing to happen here since the rubber boom. The Federal government alone is pledged to invest $6bn Euro in the infrastructural improvements required (including a metro system – maybe even broadband internet – maybe even direct flights from Europe!!), and there will be further investment from State, Municipal and of course private funds. Even allowing for the inevitable losses through corruption and cronyism, this is a level of investment which cannot fail to change the face of Manaus forever.

I think it’s fantastic news, and I’m very happy for the people of Manaus. And whilst it is against my nature to speak well of politicans generally, it would be remiss of me not to note that Amazonas State Governor Eduardo Braga and his team did a magnificent job of representing Manaus throughout the bidding process. Global financial crisis? What global financial crisis? Hooray for Manaus! It would of course be rather neat to see Northern Ireland (or Ireland or England or Wales or Scotland – not necessarily in order of preference) play here, but maybe that’s asking too much…

The other cities selected (see map) are Belo Horizonte (Mineirao stadium), Brasilia (Mane Garrincha), Curitiba (Arena da Baixada), Cuiaba (Verdao), Fortaleza (Castelao), Natal (Estrela dos Reis Magos), Porto Alegre (Beira-Rio), Recife-Olinda, (Arena Recife-Olinda), Rio de Janeiro (Maracana), Salvador (Arena da Bahia) and Sao Paulo (Morumbi).

http://fifa-world-cup-brazil-2014.com/fifa-world-cup-brazil-2014-stadiums.php
http://www.manauscopa2014.com/index2.php

Grrr....

2009-05-09T02:46:00.003+01:00

...I'm really fed up trying to arrange text and pictures on Blogger. Anyone know how to do this better, or know a better product....? Let me know pleeeeaaase!!!

Picture yourself, on a boat, on a river...

2009-05-09T01:05:00.011+01:00

I’m by no means certain I can do justice to this trip with a few words, but I’ll try to give you a flavour of the thing anyway. Let me do it in manageable chunks...

Amazon Excursion Part I

We set off on day one at 05:30, fully laden with kit, spares and 125 litres of fuel. The 10-day plan was to cover 1000 kilometres of the Amazon and its tributaries as far as Codajas, which lies approximately 275km south west of Manaus on the Solimoes (Satellite image shows planned route for day 1). We were prepared to camp or sleep in the boat if necessary, but had planned a route which would hopefully enable us to overnight at some of the small towns en route – notably Anama, Anori and Codajas itself.

The dawn over Manaus was a spectacular one, and the river like glass as we glided eastward down the Rio Negro towards the meeting of the waters. We had factored in an average speed of 20kph, incorporating reduced speeds for rough weather and lay-ups for thunderstorms, but on day 1 at 05:30 we were happily skimming along at 40kph.

The river levels were already up to 28m a.m.s.l., (see separate entry) and this also makes travelling easier, so we were able to speed straight through the Paracuuba shortcut between the Negro and the Solimoes (at low water little more than a dangerous and often impassable gulley), and onto an equally calm Solimoes. This is the major tributary of the Amazon, and in fact is considered to be the Amazon when calculating its full length. It runs from the high Andes down through the Peruvian rainforest and a further 1000 km to Manaus, where it is joined by the Negro to form the Rio Amazonas. Keeping close to the north bank, to minimise the effect of the current (6-8 kph in mainstream), we made superb time to our first refuelling stop, arriving at Manacapuru by 08:10.

A quick stop to refuel and buy bread and ice, and we were off into Lago Manacapuru. This had been a last-minute change of plan, to pursue the reported link between this lake and the Paraná Arara (McCaw Way, literally).

It is always good – especially when travelling upstream – to avoid the main watercourses, which can be very rough in bad weather. We sped through the huge lake and homed in with relative ease on the entrance to the link, nestling behind some trees in the northwestern corner. If you look at it on the map, it appears tiny, but of course in the Amazon these things tend to be BIG, and so our little stream was a good 200 – 300m wide as we entered it. Excellent, we thought! Anama here we come! We sped along the stream (anything that links anything with anything else is generally known as a “paraná”), enjoying sightings of dolphin, eagles…and quite a lot of trees…until, rounding a bend, we were confronted by a wall of floating grass and weed, stretched between the banks. We crept closer and tried to find a way through, but to no avail. The Brazilians call this stuff capim, and it is treacherous stuff – the floating grass grows in long fronds up to several metres in length, and if you get it wrapped round your prop, well, you’re going nowhere. This is irritating at best, but add the remoteness of some of our routes into the mix, and there was a possibility that if we got stuck in the middle of this stuff, we could potentially sit there for months. So we turned round, and did the only thing one can do at these times – made some coffee.

It was now 11:00am, and as we sat drinking our coffee and contemplating a 3 hour back-track to Manacapuru, a small motorised canoe with a little 10hp direct-drive prop appeared around the corner, heading straight for the capim. “Could they get through?” we asked. “Oh yes.” “Could we get through?” “Oh no.” However they did suggest that if we went back a few kilometres and headed north, we could then get around behind the capim and emerge back on the paraná further along. Hmm. I’m not generally too keen on accepting this sort of advice, particularly as the river courses change from day to day. But we looked on our maps and the advice didn’t seem too bad, so off we went.

To cut a looong story short, we ended up back-tracking 5km and ‘hanging a left’, from where we prodded and poked our way West, then South, then (worringly) North again, then (equally worringly) Northwest. Assisted by advice from what locals we encountered en route, we finally ended up at the town of Caapiranga at around 12:30. We weren’t lost exactly, but we were certainly ‘directionally challenged’. Every route we tried out of what is quite a major lake system, was blocked by the dreaded capim. We asked the locals and they pointed us this way and that. We faithfully tried this way and that and had to come back and report failure every time. Finally a very nice chap told us that in fact there was only one way through and that he was going in that direction and we could follow him. We decided it was worth a try – in fact we had reached a point where the only other viable options were returning to Manacapuru, now four or more hours away, or sleeping in the boat.

So off we went, through squeezes so tight we could not possibly have found them or navigated them alone, until we reached another lake, at which point our hero pointed vaguely to the distant southwest and told us there was another paraná up there and that we “couldn’t possibly miss it”. (Always a danger sign, in my experience, along with instructions that begin “Simply….”). And of course we missed it. Several times. But finally we got a bit more local input and groped our way into it (it was blindingly obvious once we were on it, of course).

Freedom! We were on our way! We sped along this most beautiful of flooded-forest paths, zig-zagging merrily between the branches of trees which a few months ago would have been 5 or more metres above our heads. The path was pretty windy, but large enough for us to keep up a good average speed, and we were just getting confident when we rounded a bend and….wall to wall capim again.

A few mild oaths later, and we did the only thing we could, backtracking the 19km we had just covered, and stopping for lunch. It was now 13:30 and we were just resigning ourselves cheerfully to sleeping in the boat…when the rain started.

To be continued….

Amazon Flooding?

2009-05-08T18:00:00.002+01:00

I really cannot avoid talking about the river levels again. You see, it looks like 2009 is going to be a record year (in spite of my initial scepticism), and I’ve no doubt you’ll be hearing about it in due course. So let me give you the low down on the thing. (Incidentally, the potential flooding which is the subject of this piece is nothing to do with the internationally-reported flooding in the Northeast of Brazil, which is simply flash-flooding caused heavy rains).

As you can see from the graph, 2009 (green line) looks like matching the highest river levels ever recorded (in 1953, which is the brown line). There are some pretty wild forecasts out there (including one of well over 30 metres), but the general consensus is that levels will peak at or near the 29.69m level of 1953. This being the case, there will be a significant impact on local communities, and in fact various municipal agencies have already declared states of emergency up and down the Solimoes and the Amazon. When we were on our boat trip, we saw where the Solimoes was already overflowing its banks, sending torrents of water into and amongst the trees and – importantly – plantations along the way. In addition, several communities (presumably those built since 1953) consist of dwellings and other buildings well below the 30m mark (and in some idiotic cases, below the 29m mark). The town of Anama, where we stayed on our recent trip, is already reported to be substantially under water, and even the larger town of Anori will be fairly devastated.

The peak level is mid-June, and then the water recedes unfortunately slowly at first (less than a metre in July) and then mercifully quickly (3 to 5 metres in each of the next 2 months), but for those suffering from flooding – basically every community within a wide belt along the 2000km of the Amazon (as much as a million square kilometres, at a rough calculation), there are likely to be significant economic and social consequences to these record levels, placing a heavy burden on local, state, federal, and possibly international aid systems.

Of course river level peaks and troughs are notoriously difficult to predict (2008 was forecast to hit 29m), so there is still a chance that the models are all wrong. For the sake of all those communities, I hope so.

Back again

2009-04-20T01:39:00.001+01:00

Hello All. After another prolonged absence, I’m back online again. Apart from being very busy over the last couple of months, most recently I was away on a two week expedition up the Amazon (up the Solimoes, to be more precise). This was successfully concluded on Thursday and partner in crime Mark has now flown back to the UK. I will write more about this in due course. We now also have several projects on the go, about which I also plan to write when they’re a bit more concrete. Just give me a few days to re-orientate myself and respond to the considerable volume of e-mail in my inbox and I’ll be right with you…

Policy on Abusive Comments

2009-03-30T22:55:00.003+01:00

Somewhat bizarrely, the blog has been targeted by an abusive contributor (I know – it’s amazing, isn’t it?). Anyway, I don’t want to waste too much time on this sort of filth, but feel obliged at least to issue a short clarifying statement for the benefit of anyone considering posting abusive, threatening or otherwise inappropriate comments in the future: your IP address and message content will be saved on file for investigation; your comment(s) will be deleted immediately from the blog; and of course you will not influence the content of the blog – past, present or future - by as much as a single full stop. (With apologies to the other 2278 valued readers from Brazil, the USA, the UK and 24 other countries around the world).

The Moving Finger writes; and, having writ,

Moves on: nor all your Piety nor Wit

Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line,

Nor all your Tears wash out a Word of it

Our building photos

2009-02-18T00:42:00.004Z

We've taken some time off from caiman wrestling and exploring to put our basement area in order, so as to be ready for any eventuality(!) As usual, having builders in is a bit stressful, but we’re happy enough with how it’s working out. The first 3 pics are of the area outside the bedroom we built down there last year (which is also being re-vamped at the same time), just after we started (yes- it looked alot worse). It will probably take another week for the work to be completed, but in the meantime, the final photo shows how it’s beginning to take some shape.

There. I knew you’d be interested!

Kelly

2009-02-18T00:24:00.003Z

Kelly has given birth to 5 huge pups after one five-minute fling with Toto (her only fling with anything), rather putting us to shame. Never mind. Mother and filhotes are doing fine.

Happy birthday to Naice...

2009-02-11T17:16:00.003Z

It's Naice's birthday today. And guess what - she's 21 (again). Happy birthday Naice!

It's also the birthday of our friends Zaira and Fanny (also both turning 21, of course...) Happy birthday to you too!

What a lot of birthdays on 11th February...and my sister Victoria celebrates her 21st tomorrow. So birthday greetings in advance to her too!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

Kelly

2009-02-11T17:04:00.002Z

Kelly is now 62 days pregnant (pic). Those of you who are up on your canine pregnancy facts will know that she is likely to “drop” within the next 3 days. Just what we need.

Anyone want a puppy..?

Pizza Hut Manaus (or ‘how not to design a building’)

2009-02-11T16:55:00.002Z

Whoever was responsible for the interior design of the Pizza Hut in Manaus, should be awarded the Architectural Ineptitude Award 2008. It must have taken a huge amount of thought to produce an interior totally devoid of curves, and an immense amount of dedication to select only materials with absolutely no sound deadening qualities at all, in order to generate that special fish-market-on-a-Wednesday-morning sound quality. Admittedly there were more than 4 customers when we were there, which is probably the minimum number required to really start to get the right effect of the clash of bouncing, echoing, harsh metallic sounds whizzing around and through you. It’s like the orchestra forgot to bring its instruments and decided to talk and shout its way through the 1812 overture instead.

As for the food, well, things are a lot better. The Pizzas almost taste the same as the PH standard, although of course the cheeses are made up from some crazy local recipe of flavoured rubber, and they don’t (at least didn’t) have any garlic (at all), and their version of pepperoni (I wonder about the etymology of the word – one might think it had something to do with PEPPER, but I could be wrong), just isn’t. Oh – and they don’t do Coca-Cola – just Pepsi (maybe that’s a PH-wide phenomenon now, I don’t know). AND they don’t serve wine (well why would you – after all, I can’t think that anyone would ever consider drinking wine with pizza or pasta, can you?).

Anyway, apart from that, it’s a really great place.

Technoblob

2009-02-11T00:01:00.000Z

The Bravenet webstats tell me that 2,058 different people have viewed this blog now. Amazing.

Licensed to Adopt!

2009-02-09T16:29:00.001Z

On the eve of my 50th birthday, our licence to adopt was granted. Those of you who know the ongoing adoption story will understand the significance of this. In the end, we only received the final documentation last week, hence the delay in reporting the news. Anyway, the licence - or habilitacao – is valid for two years and allows us to legally adopt through the Brazilian adoption system. We have now been placed on the list and are no. 67 out of 78(!) Of course there are other ways that things can happen (with the blessing of the authorities), and we may have some more news soon. I’ll keep you posted.

Another Jolly

2009-02-09T15:57:00.014Z

Naice and I went on another jolly in the Shamrock a couple of weeks ago (pics), and enjoyed a night or two away, sleeping in the boat in the middle of nowhere. There’s nothing quite like it. On our way back, we visited a small island on one of the lakes near Naice’s brother’s house, and have discovered that it (along with a plot of land 1km x 1.3km) is for sale, at R$50,000 (currently about £16k). We are now investigating the possibility of buying it and building our own lodge on it. You know there may be a few things wrong about Brazil, but on the other hand where else could you buy your own island for the price of a hatchback, with views like those in the pics? Anyway, if anyone has £5k - £10k kicking around that they don’t need for a few years, let me know… Incidentally, the pagelayout editing on Blogger is K R A P, and the photos will be all over the place, I know. If anyone can recommend a better home for the blog, let me know.

The pic below shows us collecting ice from the nearest “ice station” (no – not Zebra – you’re showing your age, whoever thought of that). It may not look it, but the system is brilliantly simple and functional. There is also a mechanism for payment involving a clever system of ropes and pulleys. All this for only R$3 for 5 kilos.

Moonshine down on me

2009-02-09T15:48:00.002Z

I’ve started making my own liqueurs, using the local sugar-cane hooch Cachaca and adding different regional fruit. Done on a very scientific basis (pic), I’m hoping that someday I will achieve worldwide recognition for the product (or if not, that it will at least be drinkable). To the right of the pic is the cheapest 40 proof drink in Brazil - the famous "51", and next to it the rather more refined version, "Sagatiba". 51 can be had for around R$3 a bottle; Sagatiba is approximately 5 times more expensive. In the foreground, Maguire's secret fruit mix...

Hot off the press – Pizza Hut Manaus photos

2009-01-14T14:25:00.006Z

I enjoyed my birthday meal, thanks to Naice, Charlie and Annick (photo 1), Charlie and Annick's son Sammy and girlfriend Christine (photo 2).

Comments on the Pizza Hut itself to follow…

Does this dog look guilty?

2009-01-14T14:01:00.005Z

Well she damned well should (see earlier post - Toto Poll II).

It’s my birthday

2009-01-13T13:59:00.001Z

Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me…

Naice is taking me to the new PIZZA HUT tonight! Oh, it’s all very well for you lot to scoff, but if you had to put up with Manaus pizzas for a year or so, you’d be looking forward to it too. I also got a nice new waterproof watch - boating, for the use of - and lots of e-cards (and two good old-fashioned paper jobs as well). Thanks for all your sarcastic comments about my advanced years and the various suggested presents such as pipe, slippers and Viagra (an interesting combination).

I’m looking forward immensely to the next fifty years.

How not to handle an angry sloth

2009-01-13T12:00:00.000Z

Many of you will no doubt have wrestled at one time or another with the dilemma of what to do when you find a sloth on the road in front of you. All can now be revealed.

Following a very pleasant boat trip to the meeting of the waters with guests Alexander and son Jan, we were on our way back from the marina along a road that cuts through some jungle. Rounding a bend in the road, we were confronted by a small, three-toed sloth sprawled in the middle of the road like an old unravelling sweater (although they are good swimmers and excellent tree climbers, they can hardly walk at all). Since there was other traffic on the road toing and froing between the marinas and the main Avenida, the likelihood was that the critter would soon be squashed. But never fear! The Maguires are here! I leapt out of the car, while Naice put the hazard warning lights on and sounded the horn for the benefit of the other drivers. This was my first mistake. I rushed to the sloth and picked it up somewhat like you might pick up a child – that is to say face-to-face, securing the beastie with my hands under it’s armpits. This was my second mistake. Now it’s difficult to suppress one’s anthropomorphising tendencies when face to face with a cute little smiling face, slow-blinking brown eyes and big long arms waving about in distress. And for this reason, it took a few moments for me to critically analyse the hissing growl the little dear was emitting. And this was my third mistake.

This was one angry sloth, let me tell you, who obviously resented what to him must have seemed a wholly unnecessary intervention. So he did what any self-respecting angry sloth would do, and gripped me firmly with his toes. Not the sort of grip reserved for hanging around for days in trees, but the sort of gripped reserved for when your enemy comes at you with a sharp set of teeth. So he got me around both elbows and started to apply the pressure. The toes slowly sank into my skin and the blood rather more quickly started to pour out. Seeing this was a winning gambit, he endeavoured to get his legs into my sides, too. I started pushing him away with a force roughly equal to the force he was applying to draw me closer, so I found myself more or less strangling him, while his toes – nicely embedded now - started gouging out chunks of flesh. Another motorist stopped at this point, wound his window down, and shouted helpfully “watch out for his toes”. “Yes – thanks – I will,” I replied through gritted teeth.

Anyway, I managed to loosen my grip on him a little, and stop trying to push him away (it’s a bit like making yourself take your foot off the brake when your car starts to skid on the ice – sort of counter-intuitive), and rushed to the nearest shrubbery (as one does). Thrusting the two of us among the branches, all I could hope for was that he would prefer hanging on to a branch than crushing my arms. Fortunately I was right, and as soon as he lessened his grip on one of my arms I managed to spin him around a bit and direct the other limbs to other branches. And we parted company – he growling away to himself, and me trying to get some circulation back into my arms without leaving armfuls of blood on the road.

So there you have it. I doubt there are too many people who can claim to have been attacked by a sloth (or at least who would admit to it). I can’t say I’m proud of it, really, but I survived and learnt something. And now I can pass on this sage advice to those of you seeking the answer to your sloth-concerns: never pick up an angry sloth from the front.

And incidentally, if you want to know how I know it was a 3-toed sloth, I would respectfully refer you to the above photo of my elbow, two weeks on.

Happy New Year

2009-01-13T11:45:00.000Z

Having so recently diced with death at the Hospital 28 de Agosto, we were most happy to celebrate the new year quietly by the pool…

So Happy New Year to everyone from Naice and I!

Visit to the Hospital 28 de Agosto

2009-01-13T11:30:00.000Z

I don’t want to dwell on this too much, but one morning I was in the kitchen - I think it was the 28th December - chatting to one of our guests. After bending down to get some milk out of the fridge, I “took a funny turn”. Why do we use this expression - there’s nothing funny about feeling the lights go out and the floor speeding towards you at a suboptimal rate!? Anyway, I was led to the sofa by Naice and the guests, and we ummed and ahhed about what to do while my life force ebbed and flowed, and finally agreed it would have to be a visit to the hospital. I was bundled into the car (waiting for an ambulance here is an experience only the healthy onlookers can survive) and off we went. I’ll condense the rest of this, ‘cause it really is something to forget about if one can – first stop, childrens’ hospital – oops. Next, ambulance (hey!) to the public hospital. Bed, needles, nurses, doctors, poking, proding, waiting, x-rays, ultra-sounds, blood tests blah blah. Naice went off to get me a pillow and blanket (none of this in the hospital) and we got to stay the night. More needles, nurses, doctors, poking, proding, waiting, x-rays, ultra-sounds, blood tests blah blah next day. Still feeling shite, but preferring to die at home, ended up telling everyone I felt like a spring lamb and could they let me out now please? After some persuasion, they did.

Unfortunately Naice had gone off to town with the guests (well, I mean, we have to look after them too, don’t we?), but not wishing to delay things, I took up my bed (well, pillow and blanket anyway) and staggered out the front door to the nearest café. After a cup of coffee and a burger (no food for 24 hours by this stage), I thought I was going to hit the floor again for round two, but this time the fresh memories of Hospital 28 de Agosto and a desire to die at liberty conquered all. Shortly afterwards Naice appeared like my very own Florence Nightingale (although admittedly a little more tanned) and whisked me off home. And for the two subsequent weeks, while I have been poorly, I really haven’t felt like sitting at the computer - or very much else. In fact I found it all a bit depressing. But now that I am on the mend (don’t know what it was, but I hope it has gone and isn’t coming back), and have today survived my 50th birfday, I am definitely feeling a bit more positive. So there we are, and there you have it.

Toto Poll II

2009-01-13T11:00:00.000Z

There was obviously some vote-rigging going on in the poll - one morning it was 6-2 and the next it was 7-1. On this basis I declare it fraudulent and demand a recount. I will re-post the poll in due course. However, it appears that Toto and Kelly have disgraced themselves: it seems that the former has got the latter up the duff. So this will now have to be taken into careful consideration.

Toto Poll

2008-12-22T16:40:00.002Z

Just added - Toto Poll (see right).

Don't forget to vote!

Toto

2008-12-22T16:27:00.004Z

Allow me to introduce Toto (to be more precise, Totô), the newest member of the household. Having been abandoned by our erstwhile neighbours when they moved to another part of Manaus, Toto sat patiently on a heap of sand outside their house for days on end. Taking pity, Naice decided to give him some food…and the rest is history. I am still fighting a rearguard action and won’t allow him inside our gate, but as you can see he now has his own house (painted and weatherproofed by yours truly), gets fed twice a day and likes to take his walk with Ozzie every morning and evening.

So what do you say - should I admit defeat and let him in, or should he stay outside in his own house? I think I'll add a poll to the blog (if I can figure out how to do it), and count the votes after a couple of weeks...

Feliz Natal

2008-12-22T16:06:00.004Z

First of all, Naice and I would like to wish a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to one and all. Thanks for visiting the blog and I hope you’ll keep reading in 2009.

Now, as promised, here’s the picture of a fine example of the world’s largest beetle, titanus giganteus, photographed in our garden in December. The beetle measured just over 8 inches including its feelers, and reputedly it can break a pencil in half with its jaws (why it would want to do this is beyond me, but there we are). It even flies. We were suitably impressed.

There are also a few other photos here snapped at odd occasions over the last couple of months: an unidentified creepy crawly (answers on a postcard please…); a nice lizard snapped with the camera an hour or so before it was really snapped by Kelly; a young sloth that deigned to visit last week and hang around above our chapeu de palha for a few days; and a little tree frog who appeared next to the house.

Bye bye November

2008-12-01T03:00:00.002Z

And so another December rolls along. My 49th, in fact, as in January I will turn 50 - a most unfortunate condition, and not one I ever thought would come to pass. Still, as someone once said, the alternative is worse.

November has been a very busy month, and when we totted up the pennies we were about R$1500 better off than at the end of October. Unfortunately the death of the swimming pool pump, the washing machine and our fixed internet connection cost us R$1449.50. So our profit for the period, which no doubt the sharper among you have already calculated, was R$50.50. An achievement, nonetheless, I think.

After the extreme frustration of our ludicrous internet and telephone connections during October, we now have one of these mobile-phone internet connections. Still crap, but at least it seems reliably crap (so far). So I can get back to my cyber work and my constantly interrupted correspondence (and of course, the blog).

On the subject of the blog, words of encouragement from an excellent blogger were warmly and gratefully received (see recent comments, if you can – I can’t - and the blogroll). So I’m back scribbling again. And I have some photos (well, they’re not actually to hand, but I’ll post them up tomorrow). One is of an insect the gardener found the other day and – for once – didn’t kill. On the other hand, I’m not sure who would have come off best in a fight, since insect and gardener were roughly the same size. Okay, some hyberbole there, but really this thing was humungous - so large, in fact, that after photographing it, I rushed off (on?) to the internet and just typed in “largest beetle”. Back came a long list of references to what is, without doubt, a rather magnificent example of Titanus Giganteus. I measured it at just over 8 inches from feeler to arse. Amazing. And to think it can fly, too. I Mean, it's almost the size of a microlight. You really don’t want one of these things hitting your windscreen at 40 miles an hour - or even hitting your head at 1 mph, come to that…

Naice is nearing the end of her first term at University now, and hopefully will stop tearing her hair out soon. I think term finishes on 12th of December, so then we can relax (well, concentrate on the guests) for a couple of months. Since no one is coming to visit us over Christmas/New Year (other than paying guests), we’ll have to make our own fun, so we’re still thinking about where we might go for a few days. A nice Dutch guy who lives up the road and has just been made Finance Director for one of the big jungle lodges has invited us to stay at the lodge sometime, so at the moment this looks like the favourite. Otherwise we’ll probably head up to Barcelos at some stage.

Speaking of the Dutch, I have to say they are amongst the nicest guests we receive here. Our very first guest was Ducthman Leen Deurloo in February 2008, who stayed with us for quite a while in between travelling up and down the Negro and the Amazon, and we still miss him! Since then we’ve had a fairly steady stream from “The Underlands”, as Holland is called in Portuguese. And today I took a nice Dutch couple out for a trip to the meeting of the waters, and we had a great time. Everything went perfectly, and as if on cue, while we were bobbing about on the dividing line between the rivers, a pink dolphin surfaced not 2m from the boat. You don’t get that sort of service with any old boat operator you know.

Next week, we’re going to chase up the adoption papers, which should be ready by now, and I need to organise my next GPS Course intake for next Friday/Saturday. We also have a couple coming from the UK (hooray!) on Wednesday, and Naice has her end of term exams. I’m also putting the finishing touches to my Christmas Pub Quiz, which is now set for 13th December at Chopp Fun in downtown Manaus. It could be a total disaster, but it has to be worth a try. And I’ve an old friend coming down from Boa Vista to give me a hand with this. I’ll let you know how it goes.

So generally life is fine for us, as we hope it is with all of you (sorry – getting sentimental in my old age). Au revoir.

'Piqued', of Manaus, writes...

2008-11-13T23:18:00.001Z

I’m not one to complain, but….

The electricity went off again (as usual) in the last storm, but this time it came back on at an under-voltage. This is not something with which I have hitherto had to concern myself, but it transpires that this is just the sort of thing you don’t want when you’re running a pump. 'What happens?' I hear you ask. 'Give us a technical, blow-by-blow account – cause and effect and all that', I hear you a-clammering. And I can now tell you. What happens is that bloody thing catches fire – that’s what happens. Naice and I, having taken our customary naked rain shower (don’t knock it ‘til you’ve done it) were standing by the front door congratulating ourselves on having remembered to unplug the telephone, the TV, the Sky box, the air-conditioners and the fridge, when Naice pointed out the rather large cloud of black smoke billowing from behind the swimming pool filter. Although I ran as fast as I could to switch it off (and let me tell you there’s at least one very good reason someone invented underwear), I wasn’t in time to stop the whole thing going into melt down. Thank you Manaus Energia, you useless, incompetent pillocks.

Five days later (long story, won’t bore you), we now have a new pump and an ECB, protecting us from over-voltage, under-voltage, heat, lightning strike, frogs in the pool, dirty guests and frostbite. Or something like that.

So - what happened today, when the inevitable storm came and the power went off? I switched the whole electrical system off manually. Talk about having a dog and barking yourself…

Fishing III

2008-11-03T04:39:00.005Z

We took the opportunity to escape across the river for a night on Saturday. There wasn’t much happening in the way of fish, but it was very pleasant nonetheless. We took Ozzie with us, and left Kelly with the run of the garden. On the other side of the river we met up with friend Charlie (in battlecruiser Sammy III), and Paulo, Robson and Joao (in the more traditional IV Neto).

The fish steadfastly refused to appear, but the food and drink flowed and a good time was had by all. The only problem with taking Ozzie is that he does need to piddle, so it’s off to find a suitable place twice a day (at least). Fortunately, since it’s low water now (regular readers will know that the end of October is low water), there are vast stretches of beach everywhere, so he was very happy.

Red Tailed Boa

2008-11-03T04:35:00.005Z

We have a new visitor to the garden, who has surprised Naice and the dogs twice now. Last time, Naice managed to get it to pose for the camera. It’s really nice to see it as I believe it’s not that common. It’s also non-poisonous, which is always a bonus. They can grow to up to 4 metres in length, although ours is, thankfully, somewhat smaller. I haven't actually seen the thing myself yet, but no doubt will do in due course.

Good looking, isn't (s)he?

Amazon Pub Quiz

2008-11-03T04:34:00.000Z

I’ve decided to try to organise a pub quiz here for all the ex-pats (and anyone interested in practising their English). I have a number of candidate bars, and all I need is to drum up enough support to get the thing off the ground. I also hope to persuade a nice kind band to play on the night for free-or-very-little. I also need to come up with some pub quiz questions and a sort of plan as to how it’s going to be done etc. Since my knowledge of pub quizzes is limited to those attended at the SEELB, I will have to draw on this to come up with a model. If anyone has any (sensible) suggestions, or knows of any online resource(s), please let me know!

Boa Vista

2008-10-31T20:43:00.003Z

Boa Vista is Brasil’s northern-most capital (and almost its northernmost town - of any size). It lies around 900km north of Manaus, in the state of Roraima. Part of Mount Roraima (up which I have been – thanks Mr Churchill) lies within the state, and it borders the southernmost state of Mr Chavez’ personal oil field, Venezuela.

I have two friends up there – Emerson, a lawyer, and Martin, who’s just, well, Martin. And I decided to visit them. It’s expensive to get there by plane, so the only other course of action is car/bike (not recommended because of the state of the roads), or omnibus. At R$90 one-way, this seemed like a good idea, and off I went. The original scheduled time is 12 hours bus station to bus station, and after 12 hours you’re generally ready to get off just wherever you happen to be at the time. In our case, unfortunately, it ended up taking 14 hours 20 mins. Joy. And on the way back we didn’t fare (pardon pun) too well either, making it in a pretty poor 14 hours. Having stayed up there for just less than 24 hours, I conclude that the 28 hours 20mins on the bus isn’t really worth it (sorry lads). Of course it ought to be quite interesting, since the bus passes through the Waimiri-Atroari indigenous reserve (no stopping, no photographing, thank you very much) – but since we passed through it in the dark on the way up, and I was asleep on the way back, I’m sorry to say that all I can tell you about it is that the road is awful and the indigenous folk don’t have street lights.

Never mind – herewith a photo from the garden, of the lesser spotted banana thief, and one of Naice enjoying a caipirinha at our local. None of you would of course be so tasteless as to ask which one is which...

We have been psychedelically tested

2008-10-27T21:34:00.006Z

We have now been subjected to a rigorous psychedelic examination, but in spite of this, we are apparently fit to adopt. All we need to wait for now is the piece of paper that confirms this, and then we will be on The List. Scary stuff or what..?

I mentioned before that Manaus was just about to re-elect the most (allegedly) corrupt, (allegedly) inept, (allegedly) ignorant (alleged) moron as Mayor, even after having experienced his reign of (alleged) abject uselessness in the past. And so it has come to pass. I have asked a good cross-section of the population (from the gardener to the doctor to the Director of BIC) and EVERYONE INSISTS that they didn’t and wouldn’t EVER vote for this guy. “So why,” I asked, “has he been elected again?” “Ah well,” they nod, “it’s the indigent and ignorant, you see. They love him.” So there we are – it seems that over 50% of the population here are indigent, ignorant, or both.

Although we now have our new camera, unfortunately there hasn’t been much opportunity to use it. True, we went fishing up the Negro last week, but it turned out to be dull for two days, and trees and shrubbery and the like don’t look like much without a bit of sun. Neither does brown or black water, for that matter. True, I did see - for the first time in my life - two Ariranha (Giant Amazon River Otters), but I was fishing on a river bank without the camera at the time. I can tell you, however, that the adjective “giant” is perfect. And true, I did go to Boa Vista to see some friends (see separate entry), but Naice needed the camera for her course, so that was that. We were also scheduled to go to Barcelos (but we haven’t had enough time), and down the BR319 (cancelled by one of the group). So we’ve been confined to taking the odd pic here and there around the house, and that’s what you see here.

News at last

2008-10-14T18:30:00.003+01:00

Hello all, and thanks for the concerned enquiries. However, I’m pleased to report that rumours of my demise have been exaggerated, and we’re still struggling along here. The problem is a combination of ridiculous internet connection problems (as discussed previously) and a large number of guesthouse enquiries. The result is that most of the internet time I get has to be devoted to the enquiries, and the rest of the time is spent either looking after guests or tidying up after them! Sorry Betty, will try to do better.

Anyway, what’s been happening? The adoption police came and went and we now have our appointment with the shrink on 20th October. In the meantime, someone phoned us to offer us triplets. Yes - triplets! Aside from being borderline illegal, I really don’t think we could handle triplets – well, not unless we closed the guesthouse and stopped all our other activities, leaving us no income at all. If on the other hand, anyone would like to sponsor a family, just say the word…

We have a new camera, brought to us by a friend visiting the USA. If you’re interested, it’s a Panasonic Lumix TZ5 with a 10x optical zoom, a 28mm lens and 9.1 megapixels. Unfortunately, until we acquire an SD card for it, we won’t be taking many photos - but I’ll probably have some for the next blog entry. Here’s one of Kelly in the meantime.

Naice has been busy with her Tourism degree (someone here asked her if she would be a qualified tourist on completion of the course), and has been running all over the place evaluating local tourist attractions (conclusion so far – they’re fine except for the fact that they don’t understand the need to provide information or assistance to the tourists J). On the strength of her first presentation, she has been invited to do another one at a university showcase event next week – very impressive.

We have a couple of weeks without guests now, hopefully enabling me to catch up with my personal correspondence (sorry folks), giving us the opportunity to evaluate some other business possibilities, and maybe even allowing us the chance to get out and about a bit. Speaking of which, I’m going down the BR319 with Naice’s brothers on Thursday, to have a look at some land there. The BR319 is the theoretical road running between Manaus and Porto Velho (to be more precise, Humaita). On the map, it’s approximately 700km long; on the ground, it becomes pretty much impassable after 200km. This fact is particularly interesting, given that the land we’re going to look at is 250km away. I’m also going fishing with friend Charlie on Friday, for the first time in an age, and I’m looking forward to it. We hope to both go to Barcelos next week if we can, particularly as there is a chance I can do an article on it for a Dutch magazine (long story – later, later…). Further ahead, we have friends Dawn and Garry (maybe) coming to see us for Christmas, and then…well, 2009 is too far away to think about just yet. Besides, before we get to Christmas, we have a very busy November to cope with, with 14 guesthouse bookings so far (yikes). Interestingly, although December is looking fairly quiet, we have a confirmed booking for….December 25th. Well, why not? In fact, perhaps the Library Board would like to have the Christmas party here – should I get the beer in now…?

As always, will try to post more frequently in future.

The adoption police are coming

2008-09-07T15:20:00.002+01:00

We are to receive the adoption police on Monday at 10:30. One assumes they will want to interrogate us with respect to our income, our bank balance, and our jobs, as well as to see how well prepared we might be to look after additional small persons. It is always tempting to question the justice of this when there are so many unwanted babies born here to single mothers with no visible means of support (does anyone remember that ad.?), but I have to admit it is for the most part very sensible stuff, so we will grin and bear it. At least (one hopes), they will not be asking questions like “what was your first sexual experience?”, which is one of the questions the British system poses to prospective adopters, along with a system of investigation which sometimes seems as logical, sensitive, unbiased - and expensive - as the Inquisition.

Are camera's broke

2008-09-07T15:16:00.002+01:00

I’ll have to do something about the lack of photos on the blog at the moment, but you’ll have to be patient – I’m afraid our camera has succumbed to the heat and refuses to work. I’m not quite sure where we’re going to find the funds to replace it, cameras being a bit pricey here, but I think we’ll need to find it – there’s a whole rainforest out there to photograph. In fact (typically) since the damned thing broke we’ve had all sorts of opportunities to photograph stuff. Two nights ago, for example, the largest Praying Mantis I have ever seen fell in the swimming pool – it was so large, it emptied all the water out (okay, I’m allowed some hyperbole) – and although it subsequently popped its clogs, and although I carefully preserved it for two days before the ants carried most of it off, I have been unable to get you the pics you deserve. And even as I write, we have a baby bird outside which has fallen from its nest and which we are trying to take some care of which I would love to photograph, but alas it’s not to be. We have also planted more trees in the garden and built a new patio, been to various new places with our guests, and been up and down the Taruma in the Shamrock - all of which I would like to have photographed – but we are pictureless. Sorry. Normal service will resume as soon as possible.

The 2014 World Cup

2008-09-07T15:11:00.002+01:00

All politicking has been forgotten, as a united Manaus becomes a hive of planning and activity in the run up to the most significant event in its history for a century as it prepares for the vast influx of visitors coming here for the world cup….ha ha…ha ha ha…no sorry, I can’t continue this piece without laughing too much. Ha ha ha...

Guesthouse Visitors

2008-09-07T15:10:00.000+01:00

The guesthouse has been busy this last 8 weeks, with visitors from all over the place (France, Slovakia, Austria, New Zealand, the USA, Spain and even Brazil). And now we have the Irish arriving on 13th September: the first native-English-speaker we’ve had (I mean native-British(or Irish)-English-speaker). Apart from this, we’ve had no-one from the British Isles at all. Not even the merest whiff of a booking enquiry (and our guests on 13th are only here because they work for the Irish embassy in Brasilia...) What conclusions we are to draw from this I don’t know, but I’m beginning to suspect that – contrary to my expectations - the British and Irish would rather spend their hard-earned leisure time in Europe than anywhere further afield. Well, we’ll no doubt see how true this is over the coming months.

Weathering the weather

2008-09-07T15:06:00.001+01:00

It is now bakingly, unmercifully hot here. The first three weeks in September are the hottest, driest weeks of the year, and although this gives us an opportunity to patch up the leaks in the house, it’s so hot you (I) can hardly work for more than 30 minutes outside without melting. But I’ve managed to slap what they call cold asphalt all over the exposed brickwork on the roof, and I’m hoping I’ll be able to make some repairs to the concrete guttering on Monday or Tuesday. It may be a big gutter, but the sheer volume of water that cascades into it from the huge expanse of tin roof (maybe 20m x 12m?) means it just isn’t big enough. Not only that, but the twit who designed it forgot to build in a proper slope, so that some of the water that collects either overflows straight into the roof void or slowly seeps into the surrounding brickwork. Never mind – into everyone’s life a little rain must fall – although I do wish it wasn’t through the ceiling.

Comments? What comments?

2008-08-27T00:32:00.001+01:00

Can anyone actually see the Recent Comments..?

Deeper and Down.

2008-08-27T00:28:00.002+01:00

Look, can’t you people out there do something about the appalling collapse of the Pound? What little Naice and I have left over in the UK is becoming (relatively) littler by the day – possibly by the hour. From the 4 Reais to the pound we nearly got when we left, today it’s just 2.99! Come on – where’s your backbone? Work harder! Spend more! Do something!

And a not-so-global welcome

2008-08-19T00:07:00.004+01:00

I have been roundly castigated for not including Bottesford in my geographical greetings. Well let me remedy this forthwith: welcome Bottesford readers one and all!

If anyone wants to know where Bottesford is, I suggest they get out a large-scale map of the north of England and a suitably strong magnifying glass...

(I would have put in an http link for Bottesford (if indeed one exists), but then I thought "why?")

"And the times...." II

2008-08-18T23:57:00.004+01:00

Stop the press - times are not changing at all. Politically, they are standing still - possibly going backwards. Why? Well, it's mayoral election time in Manaus, and the glorious Manaus electorate is about to elect the most (allegedly) corrupt, ignorant, stupid candidate - and they have some experience on which to base their opinions, because he's already been Mayor once before - by a landslide! Calloo Callay!

"And the times...."

2008-08-18T23:52:00.002+01:00

Times have changed. Here in the middle of the Amazon, and with a few notable exceptions, you can now just about get anything you can in Europe or the States. But then of course it’s the notable exceptions that get to you: no unsweetened peanut butter, for example; no biodegradeable poop-bags (for the dogs, you understand); and no Pool Devil Automatic Swimming Pool Skimmer. I can get (but I don’t need), a laser measuring-tape-spirit-level-and-nail-detector. I can get an AB-Stretch-rowing-cycling-pushme-pullyou-machine. And I can get an extendable multi-function-all-purpose step-ladder. But I can’t get a simple, straightforward Pool Devil Automatic Swimming Pool Skimmer. No, sir.

Deeply Held Beliefs

2008-08-18T23:46:00.001+01:00

Here in Brasil the population is predominantly Catholic. It’s the kind of good, healthy non-state state religion that I like, in that for the most part no-one takes a blind bit of notice of it. And normally, neither do I. However, two things I found odd recently which I feel inclined to pass on. Firstly, the Catholic population is apt to call Protestants – of the evangelising persuasion (you’re right, I’m not quite sure what that means – but then frankly I couldn’t care a fig) – ‘Crentes’. This word comes from the verb Crer, ‘to believe’, which begs the obvious question, does it not..? Secondly, Naice was informed quite matter-of-factly the other day by one of the Protestant (evangelist) community that they don’t attend any of the Catholic festivals (this is the only part of Catholicism that most Brasilians take seriously – the parties) because they would be poisoned. The comment was made when Naice was organising the local ‘Festa Junina’ for our neighbourhood. Festa Junina is a Catholic celebration of some description or other (please don’t enlighten me, anyone) to which the whole local community is invited, and it takes the form of a very pleasant street party, with games for the kids, food and dancing and drinking and a bonfire. Unfortunately she was unable to persuade a considerable number of the ‘Crentes’ that they would be safe to attend, which left her mystified until the above comment explained all. So that’s fine, then.

It’s comforting to know that religious bigotry is alive and kicking in even the remotest corners of the world, isn’t it? What would we do without religion?

A global welcome

2008-07-23T16:36:00.003+01:00

I have been remiss in welcoming new visitors from around the globe, so to those of you who have reached us from or via (not in any order):

India, Norway, Finland, Saudi Arabia, Israel, Botswana, The Lebanon, Bangladesh, Thailand, The Philippines, Taiwan, Puerto Rico, Mexico, Barbados, Portugal, Italy, Switzerland, Holland, Germany, or Bolivia...

...thanks for stopping by!

I've added a link to the guesthouse website now, under "Some Links", for those who were asking recently. And if anyone has any other site(s) or blog(s) they think should be added, please let me know.

Novo Airao

2008-07-19T22:30:00.004+01:00

The trip to Novo Airao went well, in spite of some weird weather on the way up, with wind and current both from the northwest, and which whipped the river into rather an agitated state (sorry Hilary – no pictures of this). It was nothing too wild, but very tiring, as there’s a 20km stretch of open water which you can’t really avoid crossing, and you have to just buffet your way through. It also took me a bit by surprise, as I’d insisted that we leave just before dawn (pic) to avoid ‘the weather’. Anyway, once across the open stretch, in the lee of the first of the Anavilhanas’ estimated 400 islands, the whole thing quietened down considerably, and the rest of it was plain, um, sailing, as it were. But it did mean it took us around 4 hours to get to our destination. We stopped at the relatively new Anavilhanas Lodge to have a quick look around: it seems fine, and the people were friendly, so we’ll probably be recommending this as an option to guests seeking a jungle lodge. After this, we headed around the corner to the one-boat village of Novo Airao itself. And of course the primary aim of this was to see what all the fuss was about with these dolphins.

The port of Novo Airao is very small, with hardly room to squeeze the Shamrock in between a few other local boats, and when you get off your boat you’re greeted with a dusty street, a few ramshackle bars and a kind of terminal for people to get on and off the regional boats plying their trade between Manaus and Barcelos or Sao Gabriel da Cachoeira. Across the little harbour is a white flutuante where they’ll sell you a (very small) fish for (very much – R$15!) money, to feed the dolphins; and at the back of the flutuante, you can just hop in the water with your fish and hand it out to your new-found friends. Naturally, I had to have a go – so it was off with at least some of the togs and straight into the water. I didn’t have any fish at this point, and the dolphins wouldn’t let me forget it – they nudged, flippered and generally cajoled me until Naice arrived with the (somewhat frozen) fish.

It was amazing being in the water with these wee beasties. I thought they would be gentle, shy, intelligent Flipper-like beings who would uncannily understand me as if telepathically and so on (a bit like my colleagues at SEELB, maybe…). Not so – they behaved like spoilt dogs and spent their time bullying everyone into handing out the fish; and as soon as all the fish was gone, well, so were they. But it was still a fantastic experience, and thoroughly recommended. You can see me being flippered in one of the photos, which should amuse some of you.

On the way back, we strayed into the Anavilhanas reserve itself, and pottered along one of its totally deserted canals, with the river like a mirror and the undisturbed, primary rainforest towering along its banks. Apart from an occasional flock of red Macaws, screeching on their way overhead, when we stopped the engine it was so quiet all you could hear was a faint ringing in your ears (or maybe that was tinnitus). Wonderful. One of the photos shows how difficult it can be sometimes to figure out quite where the river ends and the sky begins.

The NW breeze had dropped almost completely and we worked out that the speed of the current (now in our favour) was about 2.5 - 3kph, so we were fairly skimming along at around 45kph on the way back, and made the whole journey in 2 hours 45 minutes, even with our stop in the Anavilhanas. Average speed on the way up, 28kph; on the way back, 41kph – a record I doubt I shall ever beat in the Shamrock.

p.s. Some myths debunked, following the trip: 1) the deepest water in the Negro is 150ft – nonsense - we measured 285ft at one point; and 2) the widest clear stretch (i.e. no islands in the way) of the Negro is 9.8km – rubbish, we realised this on the way up, and if you measure in Google Earth, you can see that the widest stretch is approximately11.98km.

Bug of the Month (2006)

2008-07-16T23:21:00.005+01:00

Kirstie, the beetle you were asking about that I photographed in Rio Preta da Eva (June 26th) is a Harlequin Long-Horned Beetle (Acrocinus longimanus, as you'll probably know). If you follow bugs, as it were, you'll probably also know that it was selected as "Bug of the Month" by godofinsects.com in June 2006. I quote:

"A fantastic Neotropical longhorn beetle, conspicuous for it's large size, beautiful colors and the amazing length of the front legs on the male. These elongated limbs (much reduced in the female) are a secondary sex characteristic, used in mating. It should also be noted that it aids them in traversing the tree trunks on which they can be found. Females seek out old trees, such as Ficus, that are infested with bracket fungi. An incision is made in the bark and an egg deposited. Larvae bore into the timber for 7-8 months and then pupate for the remainder of the year, to emerge and start the cycle anew."

So there you are.

Novo Airao

2008-07-16T23:04:00.002+01:00

The first boat trip up the Rio Negro is planned for this Friday, setting off at 05:30 on the 110km run up the left bank. We’re doing this a) because I want to do it, b) because we’d like to visit a jungle lodge there, and c) because apparently there’s a floating restaurant up there where they’ve managed to train some of the river dolphin to eat from your hand and where you can swim with them. Of course this isn’t organised along your typical European standards – it’s a case of you buy some fish, jump in the river and hope for the best. If you drown/get eaten alive etc., well that’s your problem. I like it.

So anyway, we’ll set off at the crack of dawn and cross the widest single stretch of the Negro (9.8km) right at the mouth of our little River Taruma. Then we’ll tootle up the left bank, skimming over the deepest part of the Negro at something like 150ft, until we get to the narrowest part of the Negro, which is always a bit bumpy (naturally). Here we make a dash for the start of the Anavilhanas Archipelago – the largest freshwater archipelago in the world, and a nature reserve – and pass along its left-hand-most islands. At this stage we’ll also be keeping an eye out along the way for any interesting jungle camping terrain (as requested by some of our more adventurous future guests, Dawn). After passing three small tributaries and various settlements, we should finally reach Novo Airao around 09:30 or thereabouts. Following a visit to the jungle lodge, lunch and a swim with the dolphins, we’ll head back, maybe taking a little time out to admire some of the Anavilhanas, and with luck we’ll be back around sunset.

Pics to follow, and if we have any, um, difficult or “interesting” moments, I must get them on camera for Hilary, who complained that all she ever sees are the nice, picturesque parts of the journey. So don’t blame me if the next caption is something like “this is us being eaten by piranha. Naice is in the foreground and to the left you can just see part of my lower leg.”

"We're busy doing nothing, working the whole day through..."

2008-07-16T23:01:00.002+01:00

All is tranquil at the Guesthouse. We have no guests until 16th August, so we have a kind of summer holiday on our hands. As usual on one’s summer holiday (unless one can afford to go somewhere), what else is there to do but paint and decorate? We are planning a boat trip to the town of Novo Airao on Friday, and we have a barbecue for some of Naice’s friends on Sunday, but other than that it’s the maintenance season. I have already started wiring a light in the downstairs loo, and have finally managed to get the swimming pool looking good again after a looong battle with it; and next week the roller is coming out and I’ll be starting with the floor paint outside. Joy. On top of this, our gardener is on holiday until the end of August, so I’m cutting the grass myself, and we also have a few other tasks to get organised, like getting some rendering done round the back of the house and fixing the guttering where the rain’s coming in in the wet season. Okay, so maybe it’s not that tranquil at the guesthouse, after all...

For a bonus point, from which film are the lyrics in the title taken?

Rei dos Rios

2008-07-16T22:51:00.003+01:00

The Brazilian magazine Veja has published an article about research conducted by the Brazilian national space institute, INPE, showing that the Amazon is the longest river in the world. So for those of you who thought it was the Nile, please amend your text books. Apparently the Nile is (only – hah!) 6,852 km long, whereas the Amazon is 6,992km. No doubt most Brazilians are very proud of this fact, even if many of them have only the sketchiest idea where the Amazon is (but to be fair, it’s probably a bit like asking your average Eastender where the Humber Estuary is…). National pride can be a good thing, and I think in Brazil it’s pretty healthy. I would go so far as to say that it should be encouraged (here), and I have often felt aggrieved on the Brazilians' behalf that whilst the Wright brothers are synonymous with the first manned flight, in fact (according to Brazil) it was Santos Dumont. There are probably other examples, too. So you tell ‘em, Brazil.

A Whole Year of River Level Statistics!

2008-06-30T02:09:00.003+01:00

Yes! It's true! I have now amassed 365 (366?) days worth of river level data, and to prove it, here's the graph. The level peaked at 28.62 metres on 19th June (2007: 28.18m) and has now started receding, not unlike my hair. We have already lost a whole millimetre.

We now have two good months to get out on the river and mess about in our boats. By September, we'll have lost around 4 metres, and then in September we'll lose another 4 or more, making the igapo unnavegable, but revealing the Rio Negro's lovely beaches.

There, now wasn't that worth waiting for..?

Adoption

2008-06-26T04:07:00.003+01:00

A lot of people have asked us about how we’re doing with this. Well, it’s taken us a year to get to the point where we have some sort of verifiable income, so now we feel we can proceed. We are at the stage of putting the paperwork together, and then we will be approaching the children and young persons agency here to register our interest. This will hopefully happen before the end of July. After that we need to go through the hoops of interviews, assessments etc., and when we emerge at the other end we will hopefully then be eligible to adopt and be placed on the register. The whole process is a bit long-winded but there are other things going on at the same time which may shorten the process somewhat. I’ll provide a further update when some progress has been made. Thanks to all for asking.

Wildlife update

2008-06-26T03:55:00.005+01:00

We found this earthworm trying to get into the house the other day. There’s a pound coin there for perspective, and I guess the thing was about a metre in length. That’s some worm. He was rescued after his photo shoot and deposited gently at the bottom of the garden.

The other shot is of an impressive chap we found lurking on a wall when we visited the town of Rio Preta da Eva (80km East of Manaus). Nothing available for perspective, but I would estimate his body length at about 4 inches head to tail.

Kelly, our Heinz 57, had a bit of a fight the other night when she unearthed a Common Opossum near the chapeu de palha. Poor thing (I mean the Opossum) was pretty beaten up by the time we got there, but lived to tell the tale after we pulled Kelly - who is not much bigger - off it. Kelly will eat anything (hence having to rescue the worm, too), although she’s not stupid enough (yet) to have a go at snakes. She found one of those in the chapeu a few weeks ago, but apart from barking and growling at it until I got there, she didn’t attack it. Fortunately for all 3 of us, the snake did a runner as I approached.

Finally, our gardener, Claudionor, was bitten by a black scorpion last week while tidying the garden. Fortunately it was a relatively small one and he got away with losing the feeling in his right side for a few hours. Next time he has promised to wear his boots while working, rather than go barefoot. Good idea, methinks.

Trip to Casa da SIlva

2008-06-26T03:22:00.004+01:00

Here are a few pics of our recent visit to Naice's parents house on the other side of the river. This was the first time we had tyaken our own boat, and although the total distance was 71km, it took us 3.5 hours to get there after a short-cut we took turned out to be blocked by floating grass (capim), and we had to paddle the boat through the igapo (flooded forest): it's all very well in a dug-out canoe with a wee motor you can haul inboard, but with a 6m aluminium boat with a 50hp 4-stroke stuck on the end of it it's a not-to-be-repeated ordeal involving cuts, bruises, extremely painful red ant bites (they don't call them fire ants for nothing) and profuse and profound cursing and sweating. On the way back...we got stuck again, this time in the middle of another floating grass blockage we couldn't avoid, but fortunately a young guy came past in a dugout and pulled us free. We avoided the same route we'd used on the outward leg and further problems were avoided. It still took us 3.5 hours, although knowing the way (and without getting stuck) I reckon we could do it in 2.5.

Anyway, once on the Rio Solimoes, and all the way through to the Rio Negro, the water was as calm as you like, and during the 10km crossing of the Solimoes, it was like being on a lake. Marvellous.

The next planned trip will be to the small town of Novo Airao, on the west bank of the Rio Negro, about 110km upstream of Manaus. There to find lunch and swim with the dolphins. I'm hoping we can do this before the end of July.

The pictures show a few of the igarapes we passed through, a couple with Naice. The others show journey's end (Casa da Silva), and Naice's parents and brother Romulo inspecting the boat.

Voltamos!

2008-06-16T04:10:00.005+01:00

We are back on the air again, after a considerable amount of time waiting for the local telecomms company to sort out our phone line. It’s still not back to normal, but it will have to do. I know, I know – “But what about the river levels?” I hear you ask. Okay, well we’re approaching the peak water level now, which will occur on June 22nd. Although it’s higher than last year, it is not going to get anywhere near record-breaking levels. At present it’s sitting at around 28.6 metres (the Port Authority website is down at the moment – perhaps they’re having the same problem we had), and will probably rise to about 28.7 or thereabouts. Anyway, it’s high enough to make the those parts of the Amazon not normally reachable, reachable. We have about two months to make good use of this, so we have trips planned to Careiro do Castanho, Naice’s parents’ house via Anveres, and to Novo Airao. I’ll let you know how we get on.

I notice there seem to have been a number of visitors coming to us from China while we've been off the air, so hello to you and thanks for coming. I would write "hello" in Chinese, but don’t know where to begin – perhaps someone can help?

A lot has happened since my last post, so this will be a (relatively) long one. I would break it into smaller individual posts, but then someone will complain that they missed some of them. So you’ll just have to wade your way through it.

First of all, we’ve now been here a year, incredible though it may seem. We’ve had our ups and downs, but all in all we’re in pretty good shape. Financially, this month will be the first month we will break even on our costs, so we’re happy about that. Emotionally, I suppose I’m still struggling to adapt, but I’m definitely getting there. And anyway, when I’m having my doubts I only have to look out over the forest to feel good about the whole thing again. The house is in good shape, the dogs are fine, we’re in good health, we still have some money in the bank, the phone’s working again; the house, car, bike, boat and furniture are all paid for, and there’s food on the table. Can’t be bad, can it?

The challenge at present is to decide what direction we’re taking: opportunities have begun presenting themselves, and most of them are mutually exclusive. We’ll let you know what develops.

So what’s been happening? Well, we bought a mobile beer cooler (see earlier post), and I’ve passed my test to ride it. We’ve had lots of people staying at the guesthouse, and are fairly well booked up through to 6th July. The guesthouse website has been updated, and we’ve started charging in Brazilian Reais instead of the declining Greenback. We’ve had two wonderful guesthouse reviews written up on Trip Adviser, which is really nice. We’ve finished a third bedroom for ourselves downstairs, and I’ve been reasonably successfully wiring and/or re-wiring various bits and pieces (this 110v stuff is easy!). We’ve finally managed to stop the rain leaking into our office. Our beautiful Brasileira tree (I think it’s called a Brasileira) has been attacked by some sort of mite. I broke our Sky box, so now we have no TV. I also scraped the car, and a friend of ours reversed into it on the same day. This was after one of the brake discs cracked. Fun fun fun. We’ve managed to get Skype working with a landline call forwarding option now, so if you want to phone us for free you can (e-mail me if you want the details). Naice is starting two new courses this month – tourism and logistics management - and I’m well on with the soon-to-be-bestseller ‘The Wisdom of Oz’. Someone has put me forward for teaching Portuguese, which is at the very least amusing (well, probably not for the student), if not terrifying. We’ve had a couple of Golden Tegus (pic) visit the garden, as well as a rash of Sauim de Colera monkeys (pic). The horn and voltmeter on the boat have stopped working, but I’m sure I’ll get it sorted out soon (anyone know how to wire a voltmeter?), and I had to replace the prop after I pranged it on some iron rails. Tsk.

We had an old friend of mine visit us from Boa Vista, which was great fun and naturally led to much drinking and singing and what-have-you. Although he’s now gone back, there may be a joint project for us coming along, and I’m looking into this at the moment.

And I think that’s about it. To those of you awaiting an e-mail, our apologies. We figured we should do the blog first and then tackle the backlog. We will be catching everything up over the next week. We miss all of you back in Ireland. Yes, even you. So take it easy and enjoy your woefully inadequate summer, and remember we’re ready for your visit whenever you can come.

Wildlife Update

2008-05-05T04:17:00.006+01:00

This one’s just for Peter. Naice came across this banana spider in the kitchen, so I leapt into action, bagged him in one of the dogs’ food storage buckets and took a photo before releasing him near a suitable banana plant. There’s a 20p piece in there just for perspective, although this chap would probably be considered a smallish specimen (but plenty big enough when you find him crawling over your pots and pans). Just don’t ask for any photos of jaguars please Pete...

The other shot I took on the way back from spidey’s photo shoot. The frogs and toads like to gather around the swimming pool of an evening, presumably to catch flies or mate, or sing "half way up the stairs" or something. This wouldn’t be so bad, except that they also like to crap in the pool from time to time, and well, you know, big frogs = big frog turds. So I have to get the pool vacuum out every morning to get rid of it all. Most annoying. Anyway, I noticed this chap was stuck in the pool. To explain, I cleaned the filter today, which means pumping water out of the pool through the filter. If the water drops below a certain level, the frogs, once they’re in the pool (they jump in to avoid the attentions of Ozzie and Kelly), can’t get out again. So I scooped him out, subjected him to a few photos, and left him to it. No doubt he is even now pooing in the pool, the ingrate.

As usual, click to enlarge the photos.

Latest News

2008-05-05T01:36:00.005+01:00

“Irreverent, mischievous, fun”, they said about Boris Johnson. I used to think so too, until I read his biography. It would seem, based on this, that in fact “arrogant, cynical, elitist” would be more appropriate epithets. Born into a privileged family, cosseted and pampered through Eton and Oxford, competence far outstripped by ambition, he has spent his life totally isolated from most of the issues the populace confront. In fact I suspect he has about as much in common with your average Londoner as Atilla the Hun. But you have to hand it to him – he acts up wonderfully. Best of luck London.

Meanwhile, back in Amazonas, we are told that it has become common practice for mayors to move around from place to place in order to continue their professional mayoral careers (a euphemism for sustainable white-collar crime). Although in Brazil the basic principle is that you can’t run more than two consecutive terms, there’s a slight loophole. If you move to the next city down the road, you’re eligible to run for mayor there instead. So that’s what they’re all doing. It’s like a mayor-fest, with the same people popping up –now here, now there – time after time; and the record is currently held by Yves Ribeiro, who is up for his fifth consecutive mayorship. Well, if you ask me, just like their London counterparts, the electorate only have themselves to blame.

The biggest domino competition in Amazonas starts today. Hundreds of people will compete for the chance to be one of the 64 teams to go on to the next phase in June and ultimately compete in July for the top prizes: 2 new cars and 2 freezers full of beer. I’m almost tempted to compete myself.

A new Latin American dancing season is upon us, and the dance schools have opened their doors once more to any beginners who fancy their chances on the dance floors of Manaus. Why is this news, you may ask? Well, chiefly because Naice and I have taken the plunge and signed up for a bit of Salsa. After two lessons we can both already move forward, backward and sideways, although regretably not always at the same time. Never mind - with two lessons a week over the next couple of months, we hope we’ll be successfully Salsa-ing through the Amazon summer.

Hello, Hola, Privyet.

2008-04-27T15:47:00.004+01:00

Just like to welcome our new readers from Australia, Argentina and Russia. Oh, and konnichi wa to Andrew in Japan. Thanks for stopping by folks!

Front page news this week

2008-04-27T15:12:00.005+01:00

Viagra consumption amongst young men (25-32) in Manaus is on the increase. The use of such stimulants is not controlled in Brazil, so anyone can buy them, which may be part of the problem don't you think? Anyway, apparently the latest thing is a product called Vivanza, which alledgedly lasts for 12 hours and can be taken with alcohol. I see in the newspaper that in the photograph they have of the product, the boxes are clearly labelled "Amostra Gratis", or "Free Sample". Hmm. No doubt someone is making a bob or two on these. Well, boys will be boys I suppose - making money, having (lots of) sex etc...

...but perhaps if they could just rest up for a while they might have time to look at the filthy state they're making of Manaus. Apparently Manaus spent R$4m last year on cleaning 2.8m tons of cr*p out of the city's streams and rivers - everything from fridges to dead dogs, and no doubt empty viagra boxes and used prophylactics. To the outsider, it is no doubt depressing that there is no apparent sense of responsibility amongst the majority here with respect to litter and hygiene. And of course the local government is right to complain about it. But then the lack of education, lack of infrastructure, lack of money, lack of opportunity and lack of healthcare probably don't help the situation, and who is it that provides this...?

A local politician and his wife have been charged with 8 counts of, amongst other things, operating a gang, corruption, fraud, contrabanding and money laundering. I can't see what all the fuss is about, given the propensity of the majority of Brazil's finest for, um, the opportunistic diversion of such goods, cash and services as may be required for the maintenance of a pleasant lifestyle - but it seems at the moment that the problem is this pair have been put in a clink along with common criminals. Shock horror - that really is front page news, isn't it...

Iranduba

2008-04-27T14:52:00.004+01:00

Last weekend we took a trip to Iranduba on Charlie’s intergalactic battlecruiser the Sammy III. Owing to the relative absence of beer on board, I actually arrived sober for a change, and in spite of Robson’s ability to mix cachaca, limes, sugar and water into some excellent caipirinha, I managed to maintain my relative sobriety for the whole day. Indeed the weather was excellent, the company good, and all was generally sweetness and light. And I must add that Naice caught her first fish - and we even managed to get it on camera. There is nothing quite like a trip down/up the Amazon to recharge the batteries and put things in perspective. I’ve nothing to add to this except some photos which I managed to snap en route. So there you are. Have a nice day and all that sort of thing.

River level

2008-04-13T14:19:00.002+01:00

Must post this for the many river-level fans out there. The level now is 26.63m. This time last year it was only 25.06m, and eventually rose to a maximum of 28.16m on 21st June. If the level continues to rise as it has been doing, we may see the highest level in Manaus for over 50 years. This would result in a fair degree of flooding in Manaus itself, as well as causing problems for many of the cattle farmers around Iranduba and beyond. Of course it may not come to pass, but by the end of April we should know - normally in April the river rises over 2m, which would put us at over 28m at that point. [As a point of interest, avid fans will remember that the low point this season was just under 18m (October 26th)]. My camera is at the ready.

Scientific Research

2008-04-13T14:04:00.003+01:00

We set off on a pleasant Sunday morning. The river was calm and peaceful, the boat was ticking over nicely, God was in his heaven etc etc. Our mission was to map the Rio Taruma. More specifically, to survey the infrastructure. In fact, to acquaint the general public with all the floating bars on the river. We knew it was a tough assignment, and would require all our diligence, courage, commitment and stamina if we were to pull it off successfully. But we felt we had the right team. Ian, our software engineer (and Team Leader), apart from being able to publish the results and make them available via mobile commuinications technology, was also an experienced drinker; Professor John, our resident biologist and guide, would help ensure we didn't run aground or miss anything of botanical interest; Captain John, taking a break from command of the Alyson, would provide much needed ballast and keep us on our toes with his enquiring mind; and I was there to steer the boat and add my local knowledge of some of the relevant infrastructure.

Our first stop was at the floating petrol station, to fill up with cans of Skol, and then we were off! It was a gruelling time, as we zig-zagged up and down the Taruma, stopping to replenish supplies of Skol, take photographs of anything of interest (freshly caught Tucunare, for example), and ask the names of various hotels and floating bars. We navigated as far as the junction of the two principal igarapes which join to form the mainstream Taruma, and slid gently back down to make our first serious stop. This was a quiet floating bar situated away from the mainstream entertainments area. At least it was until we arrived, at which point several other vessels also tied up and proceeded to flood the bar with the usual high-volume, distorted pagode music and discharge various crew and passengers. But it was too late - we had already ordered our food, and were in mid-Skol (pic.). After this we continued our journey until we came to the Marquee bar, near the local jumping off point for speedboat taxis going up the Rio Negro. More Skol, increasingly silly conversation, and suddenly it was time to head back home. The whole trip had taken us 6 hours, and we had survived - tired, but content. For more on this, with various pics., take a look at Ian's blog: http://ianlawrence.info/random-stuff/river-trails. He will be creating a website for this stuff in due course, and we will all be rich and famous.

Large photos

2008-03-18T00:06:00.003Z

I can't keep trying to upload loads of photos to the blog every time I write something, so I've started uploading some of our photos to a Google web albums, and if you would like to view them I think you can access them at http://picasaweb.google.co.uk/clive.maguire. I'll load more up when I have nothing better to do than sit and watch the upload screen for 5 hours. The whole idea was to save some time, but now it looks as though I may have to edit every photo to reduce the size etc. Gawd...

Rhythm of the Rain

2008-03-17T23:41:00.002Z

It rained so much last night, and so hard, we thought the whole house would be carried away down the no-longer-so-little stream running by us. But here we are - another day, another Real. I looked up the average rainfall figures for Manaus and it looks like we're in for a total of around 300mm (what's that in inches anyway?) this month and next month. Interestingly, this doesn't influence the river level as much as you might think at first - in March the level is pretty static at around 25.5m amsl (it actually falls in the first part of the month), but we can expect a whopping 2m+ rise in April and May. So the level is determined primarily by the rainfall further upstream, which I suppose is pretty obvious when you think of it. Duh.

The practical impact of all this rain is a) my tan is fading and b) it's almost impossible to dry any clothes. So now I'm turning white again and the whole house smells of badly dried clothes (isn't that the name of a pop group or something?) Ah well, never mind

MFI in Brasil?

2008-03-16T14:54:00.002Z

Naice and I have just finished putting together the most appalling piece of cheap MDF/chipboard/hardboard bedside cabinet I've seen since the 1970s (or rather, that I've been told about - I'm much too young to remember personally). True, it came with the correct amount of screws and nails (nails, hmm..), which technically elevates it above 1970's MFI standards, but then it had a marked absence of pre-drilled holes, which puts it right back down there again. And of course the diagrams were made for the little men in blue coats who designed the thing in the first place, and to whom no doubt it is quite obvious where everything should go. But for we of the great unwashed, it's a case of 'guess where this nail goes?'.

Yes. Nails. Around the back of the unit, where presumably no-one is supposed to look once the thing is backed up against a wall, there is clearly no need for either any finish, or any screws. Just raw chipboard/hardboard full of nails. However I'm pleased to report that previous experience stood us in good stead and when we'd finished, all that was left over were 5 nails. The drawers were almost square and there was barely a wobble from it. It now has pride of place in the double en-suite. The wardrobe I put together, on the other hand, is in the twin en-suite, screwed to the wall for extra support and from where it will never be moved in case it completely collapses. I think a picture of the latest effort is warranted, don't you...?

Zounds

2008-02-27T01:50:00.002Z

I have found a new toy. It's a program called Raven, developed by Zoundry. It enables you to write your blog offline, add whatever pictures you want and publish the whole lot when you connect. Oh it's alright for you lot in the "developed" countries to scoff, but out here in the wilderness with a 45kbps dial-up connection, this is a major break through. Yippee.

Technorati : Zoundry Raven

ClustrMaps

2008-02-26T19:40:00.001Z

The eagle-eyed among you will have spotted that I've added a ClustrMap to the sidebar of the blog. This purports to show the location of the blog readers. I'm amazed to see that we have visitors from Scotland and Spain and from what looks like Brasilia in Brazil - but since it's based on IP address, maybe it's just something to do with the service providers people are using. Anyone like to comment?

Technorati : clustrmaps

Motorbikes and Boats

2008-02-26T18:35:00.003Z

This weekend we visited Naice's brother Romulo and his wife Vanusa in Careiro do Castanho. We crossed the Rio Negro and Solimoes, passing over the famous meeting of the waters, and arrived safely on the other side with the car and Ozzie intact. The fact that the ferry was quite obviously shipping water as we crossed didn't seem to alarm anyone except us. On the way, there was a group of motorcyclists sitting on their bikes drinking beer (what else?). One of them had a Honda Biz (photo), which is marketed here with aplomb by Honda as a cheap and effective way to get around Brazil. One of its main features is the 'boot' under the seat, which is so voluminous it can comfortably take a helmet and a few other oddments, um, to boot. Well, the chap with the Biz had obviously been studying this feature, and found an alternative use. He had filled the thing with ice, and had at least 8 cans of Skol chilling nicely inside. Damned good idea if you ask me, and I'm now seriously thinking of buying one of these instead of one of those silly cooling box things which you have to lug around with you...

We reflected on our luck at crossing unscathed (apart from getting our feet wet from the ingress of water), compared with the fate of the 106 people who went down last weekend with the Almirante Monteiro (pic) when it collided with a barge at night in the middle of the Amazon. The present body count is 16, and since no-one is quite certain how many people were aboard, looks set to rise further. This has prompted calls for the proper navigational signage to be implemented along the Amazon - although the likelihood of this ever happening is pretty remote - and better policing of the state of the thousands of boats plying their trade along the 2000 kilometres of waterway. It was ironic that I first heard this news while I was at the Port of Manaus registering the Shamrock with Capitania. Although Shamrock (and to be fair, many many other boats), is fit for service, there is a distinct lack of policing, particularly of pleasure craft. Conventional wisdom has it that the Capitania will only stop those boats that look like the owner/captain may have a lot of money (more scope for bribery, obviously). I don't know how true this is, but I've certainly never been stopped, and people think I'm mad having the boat MOTd at all. I figured that, me being a gringo, it was worth doing if only because gringoes tend to attract more attention than the locals. However there is another good reason, too, and that is that by registering your craft and paying what is a relatively small fee, you are automatically insured for 3rd party damage. An excellent idea, I think, and it would be nice if more people would do it (or were forced to do it, as the case may be)

Baby you can drive my car...

2008-02-20T00:30:00.004Z

Local government here has proudly announced that it will be using a new, improved type of asphalt on the roads in Manaus. I laughed so hard Naice had to pick me up off the floor. As a stupid announcement this ranks alongside the stunning news from federal government that in future politicans may have to justify their expenses...

PRINCE2 (Manaus) project work packages for roadmaking:

1. Scrape loose vegetation off surface.

2. Drive something heavy over surface.

3. Scatter mixture of (new, improved) asphalt over surface.

4. Drive something heavy over surface

(5. Cheaper alternative to 4 - pat down surface with shovels).

Strict quality control demands that the final depth of the asphalt should not exceed 3/4 inch, otherwise unwanted side effects may be experienced (like reduced profits).

Fishing II

2008-02-10T04:14:00.000Z

Well, I remembered to take the camera this time. Not that much in the way of pics, though, as the sun steadfastly (and happily) refused to shine throughout. Charlie and I set off to Lago da Piranha on Saturday afternoon on the first leg, me in the Shamrock, and Charlie in HMS Invincible (pic), to Paulo’s flutuante (pic) in Iranduba, where we spent the night with Paul, Robson and various others whose names I can’t remember. After numerous caipirinhas (cachaça, limes, ice and sugar) and sausages and rice, I spent a good night in my Hennessy Hammock, slung on Charlie’s battleship.

On day two, we took off up the river Solimões, stopping to refuel at Manacapuru. A mild panic attack took place at the petrol station when I had to use all my money for petrol and had none left for beer, but Charlie stumped up for 24 cans, which we felt was probably enough for the one night we would spend at Lago Piranha, so I proceeded in relaxed form. We crossed Lago Cabaliana and entered the canal for Lago Piranha, stopping at Francisco’s flutuante to get permission to continue on. This caused some discussion, as Francisco’s flutuante is, erm, rather basic. The main room has no furniture – I mean none, and there is no electricity, no TV, no radio, no road…just miles of water, kind of surrounded by, um, water. When we arrived, Francisco’s (understandably large) family were seated comfortably on the floor in the spacious lounge. Doing exactly what, is a mystery to me, but there they all were. Anyway, Francisco joined us, permission evidently granted, and we were off again to the lake, some 6km further on.

After wandering round the lake for a while, we fixed on a spot at the south side, near some trees (flooded forest, or igapó). I thought this would be a good time to open the beer, but Charlie had other ideas, and I was persuaded to accompany him and another guy to set a fishing net in the igapó. Out came the little boats (pic), and we were off. I vaguely remember Charlie saying something about carapana (mosquitoes), but nothing could prepare me for what was waiting. It was like walking into wall of mosquitoes. What they had been doing all year without us to feast on, I have no idea, but I can only suppose that while we were at Francisco’s, the word had gone round the mosquito grapevine - and they were ready for us. So we spent about 45 minutes paddling around fighting them off pretty unsuccessfully and laying the net, and finally returned to the boats. Up to this point, I never could understand how Pizarro’s team, attempting to find El Dorado in the Amazon, lost something like 9900 of his original complement of 10000 men and animals. Hmm. Now I do.

Anyway, back at the boats, a bit of alcohol soothed away the effects of the bites and I was quite looking forward to a pleasant, drunken night’s sleep when suddenly it was time to check the nets. Did I want to go and help them check the nets, Charlie asked. Did I want to cut off my left leg and eat it for supper? 'It’s okay', I was told – 'it’s dark now, and the carapana are sleeping'. Ha ha, very funny, I thought. But I went anyway, and right enough, it was much better this time. So there you are – mosquitoes do sleep at night, it appears.

Back at the boat, more beer, more of Robson’s excellent caipirinha, and this time I decided to sling my hammock in the Shamrock. Well, the Shamrock is a lovely boat, but it’s not really ideal for hammocks. I slept fitfully and had to get up to adjust my bits every now and then (and get rid of some of the beer and caipirinha). But the night passed, and I awoke to an excellent 5:45 sunrise. Since everyone else was still sleeping, I decided to push off on my own to do some fly fishing. Fly fishing is not very common in Brazil, and with good reason – an hour and a half later I returned with nothing more than a lot of weed wrapped around my propeller. In my absence, the rest of them had gone off to check the nets again (and welcome to it), and this time returned with a modest catch (pic), including Pirarucu, Tucunare (Peacock Bass) and Piranha. Yeah, but fly fishing is more fun, isn’t it…?

We were off again by mid morning, back to deposit Francisco at his flutuante, have some lunch, and then head off to Paulo’s place at Iranduba. We arrived just as the rain did (thankfully), and settled down to more beer and caipirinha. While we relaxed, Junior was tasked with washing down the horses (pic), while everyone else shouted encouragement and directions from the comfort of the verandah. Good plan. An excellent dinner of bacon and rice followed for me, while everyone else tucked into fish I think (what else, I suppose?). While Paulo went off to watch a soap on TV, Charlie, Robson and I polished off the rest of the caipirinha (well, we left Robson to it eventually – he’s younger than us and needs his alcohol more). Charlie and I headed off to bed (in Charlie’s case) and hammock (in my case).

I slept well, and Charlie and I headed back to Manaus early in the morning, before the weather got its act together. The cruise along a flat-calm Rio Negro at a steady 20 knots in the early morning sun was fantastic, and I arrived back at my marina at 09:00, with some of the catch which Charlie had given me for Naice. Tired, but very happy.

Economic Activity...?

2008-01-29T03:06:00.000Z

It has been some time since my last blog. Kelly has settled in in the meantime, somewhat to Ozzie’s disgruntlement. Notwithstanding this, Ozzie is doing fine now, with no further tummy troubles. We are also doing fine. The weather continues mercifully cool and damp, although this has brought unexpected problems with damp – most of our clothes and shoes went mouldy, and we nearly lost a lot of old photos and wooden things which we had packed away in the snake pit downstairs. Fine for snakes, but not for ladders, it seems (well, wooden ones at least…).

We’ve had two bookings for the guesthouse now, mysteriously both within 24 hours of eachother and both from Canadians (maybe they had a “Manaus” day on the Canadian internet, or something). Somewhat ironically our first guest - now been and gone, in a serious of disasters that Fawlty Towers would have been proud of – was Mary, from Dublin (well from Canada, but really from Dublin). To cut a veeery long story short we picked Mary up from the airport here at midnight and delivered her to her waiting cruiseliner at Manaus docks at 01:00. Still, she was happy enough and duly paid for her keep, so we were happy, too. And she was very nice. Thanks Mary. The next guests are due in March and I have no doubt we will discover they are from Omagh or some such.

Naice has lost her English language student after she (the student) split up with her boyfriend and decided to move to Rio. On the other hand, after a suggestion from friend Charlie, we placed an ad offering lessons in how to use a GPS, and have been – well, not quite flooded with, but certainly trickled with – responses. The first course was given last Friday and Saturday, and was a success to the degree that they both understood my Portuguese and paid up. I thought it was great fun, and can’t believe people are willing to pay me to enjoy myself pontificating about Garmin products and geocaching up and down the river Taruma in the Shamrock. We’re fully booked for the next two courses, which takes us up to 15th February. With a bit of luck we’ll have enough money now to pay the vet bills for Kelly and Ozzie.

The river level is comfortably high (there, look, no figures), and I’m off fishing to the Lago da Piranha with Charlie this Saturday. Since it’s 150km away up the Solimoes with the entrance reportedly a closely guarded secret, it looks like being an excellent jolly. Forunately or unfortunately, we’ll have to sleep in our respective boats – fine for Charlie, as his is sort of aircraft carrier-sized, and he has his own cabin, whereas my sleeping accommodation will be either on a blow-up bed which I reckon can just about squeeze into the area behind the second bench seat, or in a hammock which it may be possible to sling between the farthest forward portside strut and the farthest aft starboard side strut (or vice versa, I suppose). Well, if nothing else, at least I will have learned various salty technical terms, like “strut” and “mosquito”. Naice, probably very wisely, has declined to go, in favour of taking Ozzie across the river to stay with Mum and Dad. Kelly will be looked after through intermittent appearances by Dona Fatima, our woman-who-does (occasionally). Yes, that’s her name.

Our gardener, Claudionor, has had a bad time with a leg infection he got in someone’s garden (where else), aggravated, he insists, by eating pork. This latter fact provoked heated debate with the Cavadini family at a recent outing, and the argument as to whether this is total, um, hogwash, or not has not yet been settled. Anyway, he’s a really nice guy, Claudionor, so we’re hoping his leg will mend soon. Especially since in the meantime the triffids and Kelly are having a field day in the garden.

Well that’s all the news for the moment. I shall end here so as not to risk the further wrath of those whose preference is for pictures over prose. More pics later - honest. In fact, if I remember, I’ll take the camera on Saturday and photograph the fishing trip.

Meet Kelly

2008-01-03T11:50:00.000Z

On the way back from a recent boat trip, Naice and I encountered an abandoned pup at the marina. As you can see from the pic., she now has a home and an older brother. Her name is Kelly (it had to be, really…), and she’s around 8 weeks old. Although her lineage is pretty obscure, we like to think there’s some Alsatian in there somewhere.

Christmas was relatively uneventful. During the course of the week we had a nice day at Naice’s parents, an enjoyable meal with the Cavadini family, an excellent boat trip on new year’s eve (pics), and a great new year’s day lunch with some of the da Silva clan (last pic).

Next week we will be gearing up for a year of fitness and increased earnings (just like half the rest of the planet, no doubt).

Happy New Year everyone!

Well, there goes 2007.

2007-12-22T23:39:00.000Z

Now is probably the time to wish you all a happy Christmas, since I doubt I’ll get the time to update the blog again before 25th. This is one longish piece, rather than the usual multiple update, as someone complained about the stress of having to wade through 15 separate pieces (you know who you are…). But quite right, too – so here’s the week’s update in one block.

It has been an interesting year, what with one thing and another, and here we are 5,028.14 miles from Bangor (approx.) We have found a house and the bits and pieces required to get by, still have a bit of money in the bank, my knees are hairy again, Naice is Amazon-coloured again, and Ozzie has survived. What more could one ask?

Two things stick out from the last week (apart from my ears). No – three. First of all, we found a humming bird (a big humming bird, too) stuck under the canopy in front of the house. It had flown itself silly trying to get out and was so exhausted it was (barely) hanging on upside down to part of the structure (shades of Monty Python). So I got the ladders out and climbed up to it, and it was so weak it let me carry it down (pic). After holding for a while and trying to give it some water, I’m happy to report that it flew off to the nearest palm tree and is once again doing its rounds of the banana flowers on a regular basis. Isn’t that nice? Oh, and on the subject of wildlife, we now have an entirely new group of monkeys visiting us every day. After detailed reference to our I-Spy book of Brazilian primates, we finally identified them as Monk Saki monkeys (pic). They come as a group of 3 females (brown) and two males (black) and are really quite impressive.

Secondly, I had a mole removed. It was really bugging me and we went off to see the dermatologist. Of course I was fearing the worst and making my funeral preparations etc., but after a quick look, the doc informed me it was nothing to worry about, but it should be removed – and would I like it done now? Uh, well, actually… Anyway, I agreed and was led off to a small room down the corridor, where I was instructed to lie down, injected with something which made my throat numb (somewhat disconcerting when you try to swallow) and scorched with some instrument or other by the quack. In, out, R$300 please. Talk about easy money…

Thirdly, we went to see our friend Charlie play in his blues band Tulipa Negra. The venue was a “genuine Blues bar”. By “genuine”, the owners mean that a) everything in the bar is total junk, including the tables and chairs, and b) substance abuse is de rigeur. But it actually works very well indeed. Between the doped-up bar staff and the strung-out clients, the atmosphere is, well, relaxed (man). The beer is cheap and you don’t need to go through the usual ridiculous charade of queuing to buying a beer token from one inconveniently-placed counter where the staff have no change and then queuing at another equally inconveniently located counter to exchange your token (hell, it’s not even a token – just a piece of paper) for warm beer and a plastic cup. And of course the music was excellent. I was cajoled into singing Black Magic Woman with the band, and I must admit - it was good to be back! They’re after an harmonica player for the band, so I’m practising now and hopefully if I don’t find anything else do to in 2008 at least I can go and get spaced out and play some music on a regular basis.

For Christmas, we’re going across the river to Naice’s parent’s place, where we are in for a quiet day and an early night. And what’s wrong with that, I say. Ozzie will probably accompany us, as he is now feeling better from his tummy bug – see pic of Ozzie recovering in his new bed. Although we’re not buying presents this year, we have in fact got Ozzie a small bone (shhh). Then on New Year’s eve we’re going out with the Cavadini family on a boat trip on an old converted paddle steamer to watch the firework display at the Ponta Negra beach. Meal and beer included; wine and champagne extra. And that’s it for 2007. Roll on 2008.

So let us wish you, your friends and family a very happy Christmas and may 2008 be an excellent year for you. Cheers!

Ozzie

2007-12-07T22:50:00.000Z

Ozzie has not been well. He got some sort of intestinal infection and started pooing blood all over the place. So it was off to the vet. To cut a long story short, he is now recovering (and here's a photo of he and friend Charlie enjoying themselves last weekend, to prove it...) and becoming his old irritating self once more.

Interestingly, the vet’s solution involved handing us wadges of syringes and needles and asking us to inject him with whatever-it-is every day. For various reasons some of you will be familiar with, I’m no stranger to administering injections, but I do wonder whether this could ever happen in the UK…? Anyway dogs are obviously not as squeamish as us humans, and he was as good as gold. Not so, me: ever since I saw a film where they injected an air bubble into someone to kill them, I spend 10 seconds drawing up 20mls of fluid and then 10 minutes (and about 10mls of fluid) trying to get the air bubbles out of the syringe. Ah well, he survived and is almost back to his old self.

The cause of the problem we have traced to the fertilizer Naice’s mum gave us. Ozzie loves it! Unfortunately, the fertilizer is predominantly chicken crap, which apparently is not good for dogs – so there’s a tip for all you dog-lovers out there. Lay off the chicken shit.

Boo-hisssss...

2007-12-07T22:43:00.000Z

We had a bit of a to-do with a couple of snakes the other week. In the absence of my I-Spy snake books, and therefore unable to identify the little blighters, I thought I would just shoo them away with a stick (innocent until proved guilty, right?). This was a mistake, I admit. Snakes obviously don’t like being shooed away with sticks (but I had unfortunately left my recorder at Primary School). After a run in with one of them whereby I managed with great difficulty to get myself cornered by the snake (my intentions were quite the contrary, you understand), I managed to flick it out of the way more by luck than judgement, and beat a hasty retreat. Naice then informed me that while I was performing this death-defying feat, the snake’s mate (which I hadn’t noticed) was trying to have a pop at me from behind.

That was the end of my snake-charming efforts, as (quite fortuitously) we had to go across the river to see Naice’s parents). It was only later that day that we had a reasonably positive ID on the little blighters, and were left in no doubt that a) the solution is that you kill them before they kill you; and b) you don’t go at them with a 2ft stick. You beat them over the head with a very looong stick. In short, they’re not very nice at all. Anyway, by the time we got back, they were quite gone - so there we are, I’ve saved another small percentage of the Amazon fauna. Happy days.

Fruit juice and rain

2007-12-07T22:38:00.000Z

After a bit of a false start, I am assured the wet season is upon us. Too late for a lot of our grass, unfortunately, as the gardener got carried away with the new electric lawnmower we bought and set it so low you could shave with it. Shorn to within an inch (more like a millimetre) of its life, and with no rain for a few weeks, a lot of it has just given up the ghost (where did that expression come from I wonder?).

On the other hand some of the fruit trees (notably papaya – if I never see another papaya it will be too soon) have been tripping over themselves in the rush to produce their remaing fruit, so we’re well stocked with fruit juice.

Alo...?

2007-12-07T22:32:00.000Z

We have all but spent our meagre savings now, and are casting about for some form of earnings (as well as the guesthouse). This is proving tougher than we thought. I placed an ad (in English) explicitly for "motivated advanced students" and have had at least 20 responses. On the face of it, this is good. Unfortunately they’ve been from complete set of idiots whose knowledge of English is about as advanced as my arse, so most of the conversations went something along the lines of this:

ME: "Hello?"

THEM: "Alo?"

ME: "You wanted to know about English lessons?"

THEM: "Alo?"

ME: "Queria informacaoes sobre as aulas de ingles?"

THEM: "Ah. Sim."

ME: "OK. So can we speak in Emglish?"

THEM: "Alo..?"

Never mind, we’ll think of something. Where did I put that plan 'B'…?

Lago Janauary

2007-12-07T22:28:00.000Z

On 25th November Naice and I went off to explore Lago Janauary (which it is just sooo tempting to call “Lago January”, but one mustn’t must one?) Due to some communication problems (mine, I am assured), Naice thought we were going fishing, whereas I thought we were going just for the hell of it. After a minor argument in the boat, we left in, um, pensive mood. But all was well in the end, as we reached our destination (about 30km southeast, roughly where the Negro and Solimoes meet) and managed to navigate our way into the lake via a channel which my ecobatimetro told me was only 2ft deep.

Having explored a little, and then stopped at a flutuante for a cold beer, Naice phoned friends Charlie and Annick and we agreed to meet at another flutuante near our marina for lunch. The return trip was done in a little over 75 minutes in somewhat lively water, and a very pleasant lunch was had by all (although I had to eat fish as penance for the earlier misunderstanding. Ah well, better than humble pie, I guess).

The boat has thus done just under 40 hours already, and - touch wood - no problems so far. Long may it continue.

Office

2007-12-01T22:30:00.000Z

Having completed the guts of the building work at the house, it fell to me to put up a website for the guesthouse. Over a dial-up line this was a tortuous process, taking some 3 weeks (and explaining some of my lack of blogging). It is now complete and I’m in the process of registering it with the search engines at the moment (if anyone knows a website who would be prepared to link to us I’d be very grateful…)

We have also converted the wee store room (it was used for raising puppies – poo-eee!) into a classroom for current and (I hope) future students. It will also serve as the administrative office for the guesthouse (sounds very grand, doesn’t it?). Flushed with the success of the surge protector we put in for the telephone (it’s lasted a month already), we splashed out on one of these new-fangled cordless phones, and today I managed to sort out the (hopelessly wrongly installed) wiring for same, and now we have two working phones. Gosh.

If it all sounds as if it’s going wonderfully well, I should point out that we have had some problems (air conditioner that wouldn’t fit in its hole, floor tiles that refused to clean up, huge holes in ceilings all over the place, a smashed window (as yet not fixed), to name but a few). But that’s all behind us now...

Fishing!

2007-12-01T22:18:00.000Z

There have been several trips out in the Shamrock since my return. One was a fishing trip to the Rio Cuieiras with friend Luis, although in fact we didn’t make it all the way as the water was a bit rough and we didn’t fancy it much. Instead we stopped off at another igarape and spent 4 totally futile but very pleasant hours getting our lines tangled up, drinking Skol and making sandwiches with our bait. On the way back a thunderstorm was rolling in from the southeast, so we took shelter in another igarape and drank the last of the beer. The storm having passed, we took off into some of the most unpleasant conditions I have experienced so far. Fortunately, some nice chap in a much bigger boat went thundering past and we found that if we stuck 20 or 30 metres or so behind him, he sort of flattened out the waves quite a lot. So about twenty minutes of this later we were almost home. Marvellous.

Equipment

2007-12-01T22:12:00.000Z

After a lot of consultation, deliberation, and perspiration, all the equipment for the Shamrock has been acquired and installed, to wit: 1 x 12v torch, rechargeable; 1 x torch,waterproof; 1 x first aid kit; 1 horn, electric; 1 x lifebuoy; 6 x lifejackets, 1 x net, lifejackets for the holding of; 1 x anchor, danforth type; 4 x fenders; 1 x water pump, electric; 1 x water pump, manual; 1 x GPS mount; 1 x cigarette lighter (a necessity, honest); 1 x fish finder; 1 x compass, mounted; 1 x whistle; 4 x instruction cards (how to navigate etc); 4 x flares…and lots of rope. Now the boat has to be registered with the port authorities and then I can claim to be on the water all legal, like (not that anyone gives a damn, but I thought I ought to make the effort being a gringo).

The only way is up (baby…)

2007-12-01T21:58:00.000Z

Whilst it may sad to some, now that I have watched the river hit its peak and trough, I just had to graph it (Hilary will understand). So here it is (as usual, click to enlarge). However, time has moved on a bit, and in fact the current level is just over 19m, which means we still have lots of nice beaches and (alledgedly) some good fishing, but it’s a pain to get anywhere in the boat. I may not be able to provide further updates for a while as my source has dried up (take that any way you wish). I have written stern letters. Anyway, as our trip to Careiro was at 21m, there’s not much to go now before we have a lot more navegabil- um, -ousity-ness.

First things first

2007-11-24T12:00:00.000Z

Okay, so I’ve been really bad at updating recently. What it boils down to is a) my wanting to include a photo or graphic with my posts and b) the practical difficulties involved in finding same and then posting them up. The net result is delays, frustration, other things happening and a creeping lethargy. So, what I’m going to do in future is try to ensure I post once a week, picture or not. It may be little, it may be pictureless, it may be boring…but I’ll try to keep doing it (after all, writer writes – hey, who said that?).

At last - news of the water levels!

2007-11-05T14:27:00.000Z

Apologies to all of you who have written complaining about the lack of water-level updates. Fascinatingly, the levels have started rising already (as of 3 days ago), but I am assured by good friend Giancarlo Cavadini here that this is a false start – apparently they rise a little through to mid-November, then go down again, before the true rise begins. To put it all in context, those who were paying attention will have realised that the starting point (the highest level, on the 22nd June) was just over 28m amsl. The low-point reached 3 days ago was just short of 18m. You will also have grasped instantly that this is a flux of around 11m, and the effect is startling. I’ve added a couple of photos of the launch ramp at the marina here – normally these are completely covered by water. I’ll take photos from the same location when the water reaches its highest, for comparison. I can tell you now that taking your boat out at the moment can be a nerve-racking experience. Naice and I went out last Thursday and I had programmed-in what I thought was a safe route going upstream on the Negro, but even though we were a good 300-400m from the river bank, we were still pottering through just 5ft of water. We had to head out a good kilometre before we found the main (200ft+) channel.

It is odd looking directly across to the bank, then up through the trees to see the high-water mark, and some trees are completely covered by water for 6 – 7 months of the year. Anyway, for your edification and general delight, I can now inform you that yesterday’s precise level was 17.81m, and the low point (so far) was 17.74m (on Sunday 28th Ocotober). I was particularly nervous when we visited our local floating bar and the echo-sounder registered less than 3ft of water (although oddly enough after a couple of bottles of Skol with lunch I was somewhat more relaxed when we left).

Home again

2007-11-03T08:50:00.001Z

On my (belated) return - via Caracas in the end (avoid Caracas unless you particularly like risking your health and possessions and sitting for hours in a dimly-lit, inadequately-serviced air terminal. I think they took the word “terminal” too much to heart, bless them) - I found that Naice had done a sterling job as director of works, and we now have a new electric gate, a new “chapeu de palha”, a new driveway, new furniture and a new toilet seat. Bloody marvellous. There’s still some considerable work to be done mind you, but we’ve definitely completed phase one, and are ready for our first guests – so just let us know when you’re coming, eh? Hopefully the pics here will give you a reasonable idea of what the place looks like now.

I have finally completed wiring the chapeu de palha up to the mains, and am incredibly proud of myself. It took some time, mind you. First of all I wired up all the lights in series (a bit like the old christmas tree lights), but I knew there was something wrong and I lost a lot of sleep over it for a couple of nights until it suddenly dawned on me that if one light blew none of the other ones would work (duh). So I re-did it all…and realised that actually we’d need a plug socket too. So I re-did it all again…and then Naice pointed out that it would be nice (ha ha) not to have one switch for all 5000 bulbs (OK, I exgaggerate), but to be able to switch different sets on independently. So I re-did it all again…and then thought that really what we MUST have is some accent spotlighting on the forest beyond. So I re-did it all and found that my original two-wire (live and neutral, right?) solution had spawned spaghetti of prodigious proportions. Anyway, I finally finished it all in the heat of the midday sun (mad dogs etc) today…and it all works! So, next time you want your house re-wired, just give me a call - I’m cheap (or so people keep telling me).

Naice has two English language students starting with her next week, and is suitably nervous about it (although I know she’ll be really good). This will be our first income, so it’s quite an event, really. If she could get another 20, it would secure my idle boating future! I must say that she did incredibly well, as a non-native speaker, to get the coveted Cambridge CELTA teaching qualification, and she’s going to be great – she just doesn’t know it yet. Anyway, for my part I’m placing an ad in the papers for the next 4 Sundays offering English conversation classes, so we’ll see what comes of that in due course…and of course we have guest facilities ready. I will be posting up the B&B website shortly and we’ll see what the demand is like for this.

Ozzie's constant battle with the Amazon insect population moved into a new phase when Naice got the exterminators in to deal with the tick problem. After applying whatever it is to everything inside and out, he seems to be a lot better, although he has broken out in spots on his back, presumably in relation to some of the flea-powder we were using. Anyway, he's just been clipped again, is in good form and having a ball.

Back online again

2007-11-01T22:46:00.000Z

It has been a while, I know. This is principally because the Hotel Tropical has done something to its wireless internet connection so that I can’t access it any more. No doubt this isn’t aimed specifically at me, but I’m still taking it personally. We’ve had a few other comms problems since my return. First of all, we’re on our third telephone (and second laptop) as a result of lightning strikes. Not that lightning has struck the house or anything, but obviously the network (or part thereof) that we’re on, isn’t properly protected – so ANY lightning strike within, what, 10 miles? 20 miles? the whole of Brasil? sends a surge down our phone line and blows up whatever is on the end of it (telephone, computer, person etc). We now have a surge protector, although the telephone company’s advice is to unplug the phone when we’re not using it. So apparently we have to add clairvoyance to our list of “new skills we will need” in order to take any incoming calls at all. On top of this, our Brazilian mobiles were blocked from making or receiving international calls for some reason, and we have only just got this sorted out. And really, all in all, I just decided to take my ball home as far as communications was concerned. Anyway, I am now getting back to it, starting with the blog. More about what else has been happening in the next posts.

Curacao Airport

2007-10-16T21:24:00.000+01:00

I have taken up temporary residence at Curacao airport, where my Dutch Antilles Express flight is delayed until 20:00 tonight. It is now 16:00. The airport is ok if you don't mind sitting around in plastic seats in the sweltering heat dribbling sweat into your coffee and your shoes.

I contacted Mike and Audrey again yesterday and together we sallied forth to discover hitherto unexplored Curacao. Well, the company may have been good, but the island was, by common consent, a bit disappointing. However I must exhort you all to spend extraordinary sums of money, time and effort to see the hopelessly inaptly-named Playa Grande and the piece-de-resistence, Watamola (although I'm sworn to secrecy regarding what this is, I'm afraid). We did get a nice meal in downtown Wilemstad on the way back, and a quick nightcap (for me, anyway) at Sarifundy's. For those of you thinking of visiting by yacht, please note the picture showing you the way in.

Today was pretty boring, although courtesy of the ubiquitous Discovery Channel, I have now found out how tyres are recycled, how telescopes work, what the SETI programme is doing, and why there is no such thing as free energy. Pity it was all in Spanish, and I fear I may have missed the finer points of quantum kinetics as a result. Muy bien.

I'm looking forward to getting to Caracas only because it's on the way home. To be more precise, I'm looking forward to getting to Caracas in time to get my onward Varig connection at 23:55. If all goes to plan I'll be in Manaus by 02:50 tomorrow. So you can look forward to some water-level updates pretty soon now...

Curacao III

2007-10-15T18:19:00.000+01:00

Having got stuck here with nothing much to do, the saving grace has been meeting Michael and Audrey, who have their own yacht (the 38ft ‘Wind Shadow IV’. Boat in pic is similar Windshadow I, I think). Unlike most of the Bangor posers, however, they use it A LOT. To be more precise, they left Canada’s west coast 7 years ago, and have travelled (very roughly) via Hawaii, Australia, New Zealand, Indonesia, the Maldives, South Africa, and Brazil to get to the Carribbean. They are now sheltering here from the hurricane season before deciding whether they can be arsed completing the circumnavigation, which would mean going back to the Pacific via the Panama canal, or just heading off to the Mediterranean for a while before making their way back again towards the Indian Ocean, which is the bit they enjoyed most I think (that and New Zealand). It all rather puts our emigration in the shade, doesn’t it?

Anyway, I liked them as soon as I met them, and after a few shared beers, they seemed able to tolerate me too. The following day, they invited me on to the yacht for dinner, which was fantastic – peppered fillet steak, asparagus and mushrooms all cooked to perfection, and salad. Not only that, but I now know how a wind vane works. We said goodbye that night…

…and then the next day I had to phone them and tell them that actually I was still here. So yesterday we watched the South Africa v Argentina rugby together down at Sarifundy’s floating bar, and perhaps I will see them again today (although I’m a bit embarrassed to contact them yet again, as we have already said our final goodbyes twice). Although what they’ve told me and what I’ve seen has made me think ‘oo – I’d like one of those yacht things, too’, I think Naice and I will have to make Brazil work first! But we did agree that they would let me know where they are on October 14th 2008, and we will fly out to meet them. I did however say that if they end up in Belfast, the deal’s off – nothing against dear old Belfast, but while it might be fun to fly to the Maldives or the Med. for a week or so, I really couldn’t get quite as worked up about Norn Iron. Anyway Mike and Audrey, if you read this – thanks again for everything, and hope to see you in a year’s time!

Curacao II

2007-10-15T18:18:00.000+01:00

It is now Monday lunchtime…and I’m still in Curacao – and will be until tomorrow evening. This is the result of TAF airlines cancelling (ceasing totally) the Curacao – Manaus flights. Naice found this out on Saturday when she contacted them to confirm the flight. So now I’m having to go Curacao – Caracas with Dutch Antilles Express (DAE) and catch a connection with Varig from Caracas to Manaus at 23:55 tomorrow night. As you might imagine, I am somewhat peeved about this, particularly as it has now cost me roughly an extra US$1400. Anyway, I’ve now booked and confirmed the flights, so all looks good for tomorrow.

Curacao

2007-10-15T18:12:00.000+01:00

Here I am in Curacao. It’s Wednesday and the sun is shining on my wee beach-side apartment. Also the mosquitoes are out in force and driving me scatty. The flight here by KLM was excellent, possibly because it was a daytime flight (the LHR – SP run is always overnight) and at less than 10 hours is a good 1.5hrs shorter than the ones we’re used to. Getting out of the airport was a bit of a disaster, as all baggage is screened on the way out, even though you elect the “nothing to declare” channel. Doesn’t matter what nationality you are or how long you’re staying or how shifty you look – you have to have your bags screened. They’ll have to do something about this.

Anyway, Curacao, from what I can see, is typically Carribbean – why do anything if you don’t have to – and hot and sunny. It benefits from a pretty stiff (but warm) westerly sea breeze and I’m reliably informed isn’t affected by hurricanes. Good. I haven’t done anything yet (I’m feeling a bit lonely and missing Naice), except visit the local supermarket. As well as there being a lot of South American stuff in there, the service is as pathetic as it is in Brazil (although at least the checkout conveyor belts work, whereas they never do in Brazil – you have to push your stuff along yourself).

The local language (‘Papiamento’) is totally incomprehensible to any right-thinking person, but fortunately just about everyone also speaks Dutch and English - and a bit of Spanish to boot. My shopping for the week cost me US$75, which isn’t bad as this included 12 cans of Heineken, and will last me until Saturday (I hope).

The apartments – at Limestone Holiday – are basic but quite OK, and are air-conditioned, but the beach is tiny and lies at one end of a tidal lake (no sweeping vistas across the sea or anything). They are also at the East end of the island, which is residential, whereas most hotels are at the Western end, where the beaches are supposed to be much better. Never mind. It’s also quite expensive for what it is, so goodness knows how much they charge at t’other end.

I have started into the Ozzie book now, and will use this time to get at least 5 hours writing done each day between now and Saturday. I’m hoping this will get me over the critical hump where you just keep re-starting the book over and over again. I’ve also noticed that Ozzie has started his own dog blog, “The Dog’s Blogbits”, but he obviously doesn’t know I know, so let’s keep it between ourselves, shall we? Now I must go and do some more writing…

It's Sunday - it must be Scunthorpe

2007-10-07T18:56:00.001+01:00

After being escorted to Belfast International airport in style by Victoria and Mike (I think they just wanted to make sure I got on the flight!), I was off to "the mainland" again. The flight to East Midlands was remarkable only in so far as we took off and arrived early, and I had a bank of 3 seats to myself, with extra legroom from sitting next to the emergency exit. Bliss. Dawn was there to pick me up and drive me the 80 miles back to Sunny Scunny, which I have to say is above and beyond the call of duty (although no doubt I'll never hear the end of it...). The weather (aargh - I'm talking about the weather) has been magnificent, Garry and Dawn's hospitality faultless as always, and in spite of missing those I've left behind (again), I've enjoyed my weekend very much. In fact after discovering Ice Cold Tetley's best bitter at the local pub, I did briefly consider just staying here forever, but once I sobered up I realised I'd miss Naice and Ozzie too much - so farewell Mr Tetley (well, let's just say au revoir, shall we?)

Tomorrow I will be last-minute-shopping for some socks and marmite, and buying some dollars ready for the off early on Tuesday morning.

Goodbye again

2007-10-04T09:16:00.000+01:00

Here we go again. It feels like all I've done in the last 6 months is say goodbye. Apart from the rather sad reason for my visit, I have enjoyed my 3 weeks in sunny Bangor. As well as seeing a lot of people again - nearly all of whom it was a pleasure to catch up with - I've had the chance to get a few bits and pieces to take back with me (light bulbs, picture hooks and a kettle amongst them) and put on a bit of weight (must be the dairy products).

Unfortunately I didn't bring my camera with me on this trip, and so don't have much in the way of photos (I understand many of my readers just like looking at the pictures - shame on you), and it would be nice to post a few pics from some of the highlights of the trip (Hilary's leaving do, for example, if someone could e-mail me some?) And herewith a pic from my last night, which was great fun, spent in the company of my sister Victoria, cousin Michael "it's a disgrace" Downing, and old comrade Rabea Garari - all of whom I shall miss and expect to come out to visit us sometime. In fact I'm hoping quite a few people will come out to visit us sometime - after all, the guest house is nearing completion (pic), and it's only a hop skip and a jump to Manaus.

Anyway, thanks to all who have put up with me once again (especially Victoria and Mike). It has been good to chill out here (literally), and my Aunt seems to be as well as can be expected, so I can leave with a slightly lighter load than that with which I arrived (well, except for the kettle and the retractable clothes line). But now I must pack up and shove off to Scunthorpe, en route to sunnier climes. Poor friends Garry and Dawn will have to put up with me for a few days before I catch the early morning flight to Amsterdam, but I'll try to be on my best behaviour for them. More later.

Still raining, then...

2007-09-20T18:31:00.000+01:00

I'm back in Ireland for a few weeks (until 4th October). I'm gratified to note that the weather is much as it was when I left, and that people still don't understand the meaning of two lanes on a dual carriageway, and still drive all the way from Belfast to Bangor in the outside lane because they're turning right down the Rathgael Road.

The journey here was, as usual, extremely tedious - made doubly so by an 8 hour wait at Sao Paulo airport. The journey time from Manaus to SP has been cut again, and is now under 4 hours, while the flight to London is nearly 11 hours. BMI charged me £158 to get me back to Belfast, which wasn't very nice of them, especially as there were spare seats around. On the way back I'm going via East Midlands so I can see friends Dawn and Garry, and then flying from Humberside to Amsterdam KLM, Amsterdam to Curacao KLM and Curacao to Manaus TAF. Although I've screwed things up a bit and have to stay in Curacao a few days, the cost of the trip is around £650, which is at least £150 less than going via Sao Paulo. And the flights are shorter - hooray!

I can't update you on the river levels in the Amazon I'm afraid (I know, I know - I'm sorry, okay?), as I can't re-find the site I was using. But you can be sure it's gone down a lot by now.

Naice is at home in Manaus, and has been saddled with coping with the builders who are in re-constructing our driveway and putting in a new gate and a chapeu de palha (pic). I feel very guilty about this, but the trip was necessary, I feel. Naice is hoping to be back in Ireland herself early next year.

I have not by any means been good at getting in touch with everyone so far. This is simply because I'm a disorganised git and I hope you will forgive me. I'm concentrating my inadequate organisational skills on my aunt for the moment, and will rectify any communications problems next week - please bear with me.

Hit Counter

2007-09-16T23:09:00.000+01:00

Following a suggestion from my friend George Crawford, I have managed to add a hit counter to the site (see right), based on a Bravenet utility. Since this has cost me 50 bucks, I hope it will be worth it!! It was zeroed at midnight today/last night (16th September), so let's see how many visitors we have over the next few months...

Quick Trip report

2007-09-10T02:04:00.000+01:00

The boat trip to Manaquiri went well. The only things of note (apart from the fantastic scenery, the birds and the fish), were: 1) when we nearly ran aground on a sandbank on the Solimoes. It was only that I noticed this bloke walking about in the middle of the river and figured that something wasn’t quite right, that disaster was narrowly avoided; 2) the planned entrance to Manaquiri doesn’t exist when the water level’s down 5 metres, so we had some trouble locating an alternative; and 3) on the way back, with the motor fully run in, we achieved a top speed of just short of 50kph, which is pretty good. The outward journey took us 9 hours; the return journey took 5.75. Oh, and since I fitted a sonar transponder on the back of the boat, the steering is all over the place, leaving me with a fairly sore left arm from trying to stop the boat skidding to the left – must fix this on my return from the UK. This also meant I didn’t get much time to take photos, so I’m afraid you’ll have to make do with these three. The last one is a backward glance at our original destination, Careiro do Castanho, as we were leaving to return to Manaus. Sorry – will do better next time.

…And speaking of the UK, as a lot of you will know I’ll be in town for a few weeks from this Wednesday (12th September) and will no doubt see you then. Whether I update the blog or not during this time will depend to a large extent on whether I have a computer and connection, whether there’s anything interesting to report, and whether I’m sober enough to type it if there is.

River levels

2007-09-05T22:50:00.000+01:00

No, I’m not going to quote the level. I heard on the news today that river levels are not expected to fall as low as last year, and the forecast is for the lowest point in 2007 to be approximately 60cm higher than 2006. No doubt this is important to someone somewhere, but in the grand scheme of things (10 – 15 metres?), I didn’t really think it was that significant. Maybe it’s like talking about the weather in the UK or something. Anyway, I will now be paying close attention to the final low point and in the event of an inaccurate forecast will chastise the forecasters roundly (letter to the Times, or at least the A Critica, which would be the local equivalent), I think.

Blecaut!

2007-09-05T22:40:00.000+01:00

The word ‘blecaut’ is the Brazilian portuguese version of ‘blackout’, and refers to the Brazilian electricity companies’ policy of suddenly disconnecting whole districts from the grid so that they can change a fuse or a bulb or something down at the local substation, and which is why I am writing this blog in the dark: for the past 3 or 4 days we have been subject to the dreaded blecaut 5 or 10 times a day, and (of course) always at night. It used to be worse, as I recall, and I remember some 10 or so years ago the energy crisis in Amazonas was so bad they hired a generator ship (a very weird looking thing indeed) to come all the way from the US (or Canada?) to bolster the city’s supply. Nowadays, there is no energy crisis in Manaus, except of course when Manaus Energia just turns you off when it feels like it.

It wouldn’t be so bad if the power surge that sometimes accompanies reconnection wasn’t sufficient to blow up your new TV/aircon/fridge/computer etc. But it is. So can you run the risk? No. So not only do you get to wake up in the middle of the night (sweating profusely from lack of aircon), but then you have to run round unplugging everything before you’re reconnected again. And then when the power comes on, you have to run round plugging everything in again so your food doesn’t go off (unlike the power - arf), and you don’t steam in your bed. After the fifth time, this gets a little trying, to say the least, prompting me to put irate digit to battery-powered keyboard in protest. Hah! - let that be a lesson to them.

Knees Up

2007-09-05T22:28:00.000+01:00

When I first saw my father’s white, hairless legs, it was quite a shock. ‘Is this my destiny, too?’ I wondered, at the tender age of twenty something. Was I also doomed to roam the world’s beaches with a pair of white, shiny knees? Well, I’m very pleased to report that after only a few months of wearing shorts all the time (a few short months, indeed…), I now not only have a fine pair of tanned pins (IMHO), but without the constant friction of material on leg, even my knees have a growing covering of manly hair. Hooray for shorts, I say.

At last...

2007-09-05T05:33:00.001+01:00

It has just occurred to me why people have been missing the blog updates - it's obviously because I have been failing with my updates with respect to the water levels. Well, I can now inform you that the level currently stands at 23.66m, down just less than 5m from its peak on 23rd June (28.18m), and is descending at the rate of 17cm per day now. So there you are - you can rest easy again.

Don't worry - more updates soon!

Random Walk

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Manaus 2014

Grrr....

Picture yourself, on a boat, on a river...

Amazon Flooding?

Back again

Policy on Abusive Comments

Our building photos

Kelly

Happy birthday to Naice...

Kelly

Pizza Hut Manaus (or ‘how not to design a building’)

Technoblob

Licensed to Adopt!

Another Jolly

Moonshine down on me

Hot off the press – Pizza Hut Manaus photos

Does this dog look guilty?

It’s my birthday

How not to handle an angry sloth

Happy New Year

Visit to the Hospital 28 de Agosto

Toto Poll II

Toto Poll

Toto

Feliz Natal

Bye bye November

'Piqued', of Manaus, writes...

Fishing III

Red Tailed Boa

Amazon Pub Quiz

Boa Vista

We have been psychedelically tested

News at last

The adoption police are coming

Are camera's broke

The 2014 World Cup

Guesthouse Visitors

Weathering the weather

Comments? What comments?

Deeper and Down.

And a not-so-global welcome

"And the times...." II

"And the times...."

Deeply Held Beliefs

A global welcome

Novo Airao

Bug of the Month (2006)

Novo Airao

"We're busy doing nothing, working the whole day through..."

Rei dos Rios

A Whole Year of River Level Statistics!

Adoption

Wildlife update

Trip to Casa da SIlva

Voltamos!

Wildlife Update

Latest News

Hello, Hola, Privyet.

Front page news this week

Iranduba

River level

Scientific Research

Large photos

Rhythm of the Rain

MFI in Brasil?

Zounds

ClustrMaps

Motorbikes and Boats

Baby you can drive my car...

Fishing II

Economic Activity...?

Meet Kelly

Well, there goes 2007.

Ozzie

Boo-hisssss...

Fruit juice and rain

Alo...?

Lago Janauary

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